What Have I Done

I got so lost
In confusion and blindess
And i couldn't feel the love
Given to me by you
Nothing could move me at all
My whole world was in black and grey
But something was still alive in me
Keeping me tied to you

A flame sill burning
In the many embers
In my heart
For you

I push you away
And ran so far
Trying to find what was missing
Trying to find some ground of mine

I became alone
Clear and alive
The clouds around me
Moving from my eyes
Moving from my heart

All that i felt
Came flooding
From the flame
Inside
Engulfing me in it's wave

I turned around to look for you
But you had already left my side

Gone was the light
A sense of loss blighted me
From left to right
Right to left

I hollered you name
Begging your image
Of the man you were
To come back to me
But he just stood there
Pushing my love away
Stating he felt nothing
He was nothing of the man
I knew and loved
I could see his pain

So i stumbled around
Crying and falling down
Like a little lost sheep
Lost it's herd
Trapped on the moors
I carried on bleeting
But to no avail

I look in my memeories
To see how this came about
And it became apparent
Just to the extent of how i was
Like a herion addict lost in a Moment
I was cold and distant to his love
Rejecting him, punishing him
Just for being there

I saw the mevolent evil
That was the image of me
So lost in myself, i was
I love the most precious thing to me

Now...
I have myself back
The girl i once was
But with a gaping hole
Of where love should be

Now...
He's pushing me away
Rejecting my phone calls
At night and day
Saying he's busy
To busy for me
Saying he's tired
Too tired for me

The same man who once told me
Whenever you need me all you need
Do is to pick up the phone and call
Anytime day or night
And i will be there for you

So now i ask
Where is he?

I'm that part of his life
He hates and wishes he never had
I'm that things he wishes to get rid Of
And be done with, once and for all

Whether this is true
I know not

I just wish to bring back
All that i miss

Playing with his hair while driving
Pretending to be his wife in the car
Kissing him the way i longed to kiss
Holding him the way i longed to hold
Walking hand in hand, never letting Go
Saying i love you and have it said Back
And to be meant it
Loving him and to be loved in return
Is what i miss the most

Now...
My mind is littered by
Who is he kissing now?
Will he ever love me again?
But..
Mostly...

What have i done




Poetry by jacy
Read 861 times
Written on 2006-07-31 at 05:15

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Will
Well, one thing you have done is written a powerfully, painful and familiar piece to me.

Very strong potent write I really enjoyed the read
2006-07-31


Teala
Feeling trapped by love, very deep and vivid..brillant!
2006-07-31