It `s a tear that hangs beside my soul forever

The birds fly like jets over my head. They `re headed far away, to foreign countries. Countries I will never experience. I guess you can say that I am dying, but not of illness. Just of life in general, it kills me. I don't know how to describe it, I just feel it when I'm walking, looking out the sea. Imagine you `re being Jimi Hendrix and suddenly someone comes along and steals your guitar strings. There you have me. Walking on the edge you call life. It `s a small edge, one step wrong and you `re heading towards the dark bottom.
My days is like the waves hitting against the beach. They are being thrown at me for then to leave without a trace. They just float out in eternity, if there is such a thing. I don't know. I `m not sure about anything anymore.
The seagulls screaming cuts through the air. I catch myself thinking if the seagulls, or all birds in general, didn't make a sound, would we have noticed them? Would we have known their existence? Or would it just have been one of those things we take for granted?
I can honestly say that I `m not taking everything for granted. All I can see, all I can feel, all I can taste, I take it in with everything I got.
Even silence is something precious. Just because it takes so much place, and silence is forever. I close my eyes, breath in the salty air. For one second I hope someone is coming to fly me away, to the edge where the universe doesn't end. But it `s not happening, when I open my eyes everything is the same. Nothing changes. Time doesn't go, it `s just being used up.
Mine almost is, I can feel it. Something `s in the air, I have known it for a long time. I don't think that I `m created to live. I `m not strong enough. The emptiness talks to me with its deep voice from within, like an orchestra in symphony. Dark tones taking all up all room, paints my soul black. The instruments crushing me from within, leaves me like a ball of confusion, longing and sorrow. But silence will hide my screams. Time will be used up.
It `s a tear that hangs beside my soul forever.





Words by Evelyn
Read 880 times
Written on 2006-08-13 at 18:09

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