GIFT OF A RHYTHM
She was looking out of the window , lying on her bed ; the eyes closed and thoughts elusive. It was impossible to guess what she was thinking . I was standing at her bedside in her house . The evening had an austere quality about it as if brooding . I could hear her words echoing last night . The beautiful eyes searching mine :
" Well , Dear , say something to me"
A smile – so pretty and haunted my dreams .
" I have to go" , I said .
" I know you will never come back"
The pain was unbearable ; I really had to go .
She had turned her face towards me :
" How can I live the rest of my life?"
* * * *
She was so achingly young ! And my heart would fill with an emotion I couldn't define , whenever I looked at her beautiful face . I was in love. . So deeply in love . Passions conjured up such a bliss that the sweet nothings of the season , I couldn't help possessing . She was sitting near me when I once said:
" I know one day I will hurt you , dear"
She was in my arms , kissing .
Suddenly she was saying : " I know only too well there is nothing but pain for me at the end of the road . But darling , my life was so full of sorrows that it doesn't matter any more . One of those lives where there never would be a moment of peace . These little moments of love I value so much . I can't ask for more . When these end I am ready to embrace that exquisite agony ."
" O! my dear , please don't...."
" What you have written for my birthday?"
" A stanza only"
" Show me"
" No. Only on your birthday"
And then one day she asked me : " Which is easy – To hurt others or to hurt oneself?
" What a strange question you ask?"
" Well , tell me , dear"
" Should I know the answer?"
" I am not sure. Only I just asked"
She wanted so much to write . She would ask me :
" Teach me how to write poems"
" There is nothing to teach . Just identify yourself and what you feel"
" One day I will write a poem for you"
" A stanza ?"
She was smiling : " May be a couplet only"
She was there at her door steps , waiting for me . The frilled ,dainty dresss , the rose adorning her tresses , the beautiful dimples blooming in a wistful serenity and the smile that for once made me at peace with myself . She hugged me , kissing :
" I was waiting for you"
" You look so pretty , honey"
" How you wish me on my birthday?"
" I want to whisper in your ears"
" Tell me , darling"
She was relaxing on my bosom .
' The gleeful stars of this December
The petite butterflies you adore
The dreams knocking at your door
The scented breath of this night
( A gift of your tresses , I wonder ! )
And a heart steeped in love :
They all remember when you're born .
May these wishes lace your life
As the myriad delights for ever .'
" Let's die together"
I was silent . She was continuing:
" Life had been too harsh and long"
I heard myself saying :
" No , I have to live . As a retribution for hurting you . Each moment from now onwards , I have to live , reminding myself that I had destroyed you . To bestow so much and then take away so soon ... You can curse me , dear . My life will be there , dragging on ...For all the burdens to bear.. For all the torment to endure . And one day when it ends , I will be a very happy man ."
" Write something for me a last time . I will never ask you again ."
She was really hurting me . I had to write :
' Don't relish my poems , O ! so much ;
They're drops from a bleeding heart .
Don't you dabble with this rippling expanse ;
They're only an ocean of tears .
Never marvel these melodies to your dream ;
For they are sobs of a soul in torment .'
I had to meet her at her house . May be for the final time in my life . She might be there at her doorsteps , this time too , to embrace me . And this sheet of paper in my pocket . It was impossible for me to tell her although she knew . She was not at her doorsteps . I entered her drawing room . She was nowhere to be seen . And in her bedroom , I saw her . Lying as if in a light repose .. The soft hair in a faint ripple over her face , by the evening breeze . And the same old ache in the heart welling up inside me...when I saw her for the very first time . She was looking extremely beautiful to my eyes . I couldn't wake her up . I had to congregate the only treasures of my life . The sublime remembrances .. The gems of my lonely life . And a terrible ordeal stretching infront of me . The long dreary years ahead ...
I placed the sheet of paper near her hand .
I started to turn . Something caught my eye . A letter placed on her writing table near . Addressed to me . A pallid sheet folded at the middle. I opened it :
'This is for you ; my first poem , not a stanza but a couplet only .'
I could see her writing those . The tender fingers moving along in a rhythm :
' Why you did kill me , O! dearest love
While I was there just dying for you '
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * ** * * * *
Short story by binesh
Read 1165 times
Written on 2006-09-20 at 17:54
Tags Love  Poem 
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