Target practice

She told me she had a gun, she said she didn't know how to use it
She pointed it at my head but I was already dead, she didn't really need it
She loaded it with guilt and filled it to the hilt, her aim turned out to be deadly
She fired another round; I won't forget that sound, her abilities growing steadily
She had me in her sight; I can't describe my fright, that helpless and useless feeling
She pulled the trigger again; I thought I'd go insane; I had no hope of healing
She thought she had me licked but then I heard a click, the magazine was empty
She flew into a rage, her fury I could gauge, I knew she won't redeem me

It doesn't help to shout, of this there is no doubt, my mother is a killer




Poetry by Ananim
Read 730 times
Written on 2006-10-13 at 02:18

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A rhythmic text, with a content that goes right into my soul.
2006-10-16



I am sorry to respond like this Anonim, but I cannot respond to Lourdes critisism of my comment on this poem in any other way, as I have used my weekly message allowance.

To Lourdes, yes I think you were wrong and over reacted in your pm response and here in your comment on this poem. I have been in communication with Anonim re this poem and he/she explained it was about their mother, plus they thanked me for this and other comments, stating it is what makes writing worthwhile. I understand it is about abuse, but metaphorical abuse, which everyone indulges in in most relationships at one time or another. I thought the narrator was a man's voice, whinging about his womans way of dealing with him infidelities or waywardness, to be honest.

All I can say is, that I have commented on many thousands of poems in the past four years and have rarely upset or misinterpreted the work, but even if I did, surely it is for the reader to interpret a poets muse, and every reader may find something different from what was in the thoughts of the poet or indeed anothers interpretations? As to the sensitivity of the cereal poet? I am one and one of the most sensitive when it comes to crit,

I appreciate your concern Lourdes, but I also feel a little picked upon with your comment without any real need. I don't want to fall out with anyone and I hope this will be the last time we have to deal with this issue.

No offence taken or given to anyone on my part.

Sorry again about this Anonim, but this is an issue that could not wait a week for a response. I don't know if it is possible to delete comments here, but please feel free to. I hope I have not given the poem alway in mentioning your mother?

Tai
2006-10-14


Lourdes
I read this with heavy beats sewn into every sentence ,, hitting hard .
Mothers . I know the killing kind . And as a side-comment to one of the comments given you about guilt often deserved , well , no.
People who like to impose their (little) power on the "weaker " part often with their own guilt .. to make the weaker part carry the guilt that heshe has for hishers wrongdoings , often TO the weaker person (being a child or a spouse), well people that do that carry out this abuse in every small and mundane thing . There is no guilt , Tai . Its a fictive feeling produced in the victim by the abuser .
Great poem . I have a feeling it didn't come easy .
2006-10-14


Richard
Good! A nice twist!
Richard
2006-10-13



This piece made smile and grin with the last line. The only line I have contention with is, She loaded it with guilt!lol A man can only feel guilt if he has something to feel guilty about! Just an observation. Enjoying your work, Tai
2006-10-13