Bathroom

So sweet that I could eat you,
I said
and I ate you
took you in my mouth
shewed, swallowed

to the bathroom

I took the key
locked and throwed you up
swallowed the key

I said:
- I'm leaving tomorrow
I will fly away
shall we take our problems now
solve them
work out those issues

but you shoke your head
you spit on me

I cried cried cried
untill everything owerflown
water water water

noone heard you cry for help
while the bathroom filled up
with salt water

the resentment started to corrode inside
our skin gently flaked off
but we stood by
and we took the last deep breat

- we drowned both
beacuse it held tight tight
the lack of empathy
I could have saved you
with pity
I didn't want to



Poetry by Angie-M
Read 721 times
Written on 2005-10-29 at 11:57

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John Ashleigh The PoetBay support member heart!
Oh I love your poetry, but I still have to pick a few things to correct just to make you even better and to make this a constructive comment:

shewed, swallowed -> Chewed; Swallowed.

you shoke your head -> Shook your head.

untill everything -> Until everything.

last deep breat -> Last deep beat.

beacuse it held tight tight -> Because it held tight, tight.

Brilliant poem no doubt! Keep it up!
2005-10-31



good poem from a good poet ,,Eddy
2005-10-29