[Porter finally opens the door for Macduff and Lennox.]
Macduff: What took so long?
Were you in bed?
Asleep? Or dead?
Porter: Sleepin'?
Nah! Sippin'?
Yah! Boozin'
an' cruisin' 'til three o' clock;
and well ye know what three things drink may provoke?
Macduff: No, tell us. I haven't heard this joke.
Porter: [becoming soberly philosophical]
Drink provokes promiscuity, sleep, an' urine.
Lechery, for one, it does one way, den da other;
it brings desires up and lets performance down.
In short, drink lives with lies and lies with lechery,
makes it, breaks it, then excites and fills with apathy
so no pleasure in the lechery is found.
It makes 'em stiff, then stiffs 'em
when they least expect it,
leavin' limp what once 'ad been erect.
Yup, drink does 't every time,
makes man sublime
thinkin' deep 'bout sex 'n' love,
then only sleep
where in 'e dreams o' love
and gets 'imself all set
ta find the morning sun
and 'im all wet.
Macduff: I think last night the drink has filled your head
And lied to say you lived and left you dead.
Porter: That 't did, awright.
But ah made up fer 't,
'cause afta shovin' all dat stuff
down ma throat,
ah got ma revenge
and for all 'e threw up at me,
ah threw up back at 'im.
'E got me down 'n' out;
ah got 'im up 'n' out
all over da place -- 'ere,
everywhere you look.
Yuk!
Poetry by NotaDeadPoet
Read 985 times
Written on 2007-01-21 at 00:42
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Macbeth, Act II, Sc.ii -- A Porter's Philosophy on Drinking
[Porter finally opens the door for Macduff and Lennox.]Macduff: What took so long?
Were you in bed?
Asleep? Or dead?
Porter: Sleepin'?
Nah! Sippin'?
Yah! Boozin'
an' cruisin' 'til three o' clock;
and well ye know what three things drink may provoke?
Macduff: No, tell us. I haven't heard this joke.
Porter: [becoming soberly philosophical]
Drink provokes promiscuity, sleep, an' urine.
Lechery, for one, it does one way, den da other;
it brings desires up and lets performance down.
In short, drink lives with lies and lies with lechery,
makes it, breaks it, then excites and fills with apathy
so no pleasure in the lechery is found.
It makes 'em stiff, then stiffs 'em
when they least expect it,
leavin' limp what once 'ad been erect.
Yup, drink does 't every time,
makes man sublime
thinkin' deep 'bout sex 'n' love,
then only sleep
where in 'e dreams o' love
and gets 'imself all set
ta find the morning sun
and 'im all wet.
Macduff: I think last night the drink has filled your head
And lied to say you lived and left you dead.
Porter: That 't did, awright.
But ah made up fer 't,
'cause afta shovin' all dat stuff
down ma throat,
ah got ma revenge
and for all 'e threw up at me,
ah threw up back at 'im.
'E got me down 'n' out;
ah got 'im up 'n' out
all over da place -- 'ere,
everywhere you look.
Yuk!
Poetry by NotaDeadPoet
Read 985 times
Written on 2007-01-21 at 00:42
Save as a bookmark (requires login) Write a comment (requires login) Send as email (requires login) Print text
