Can't get to sleep
Another restless night,I can't get to sleep.
I just toss and turn,
Throw away the covers and pull them back.
Its after 3am,
I dont know why I'm awake.
All I want to do,
Is go to sleep.
I can't,
I keep thinking.
Of the past,
Of the future.
What is in my life,
Just now.
A guy,
Who is forever amazing.
Friends,
Who are brilliant to be with.
My family,
Which is the usual.
Nothing is different,
So why can't I sleep?
I'm tired,
But my mind doesn't switch off.
Whenever I look at a photo,
It is just me,
But I've not accepted that fully.
More recently I've become more aware,
Of my looks.
Some days are good,
I feel fantastic and sexy.
Bad days,
I feel awful.
I feel hurt,
When those boys said that.
That horrible name,
Shouting it at me.
I cringe,
Try to brush it off.
But inside ,
It's like a blow to the gut.
It's entertainment to them,
They dont realise people have feelings.
My friends try to cheer me up,
Ewan tells me I'm beautiful,
And that it's the loved ones that count.
The words are soothing,
They never take away the effect,
Of a blade twisting inside me.
Everyday I try to do my hair,
Make myself more pretty.
I know I'm pretty,
Although it's inside what counts.
Ewan would get on to me,
If he knew what i was writing.
I can't help,
What lurks about in my mind.
I'd love to banish the bad,
And keep all the good.
I'll shut up,
Maybe I'm being silly.
18/6/05
Poetry by Hazel
Read 751 times
Written on 2007-01-30 at 14:58
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