My love

My love
Breaks through walls
Conquers doubts
Shatters chains
strangles reason
swims an ocean
runs the miles
to embrace you


falls short



Poetry by Karl-Johan
Read 636 times
Written on 2008-11-27 at 02:05

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Thomas Perdue The PoetBay support member heart!
I like the idea of your loving falling short no matter how much it can "do". A bit of constructive criticism if you care: start the text of the poem itself with the words "My love", since that is only the title, it is not read along with the rest of the poem... I feel that it would sound better that way, but that is just a suggestion.

Great work, keep it up!

T.
2008-11-27