Not Catching You

I catch you in the faces of others,
the grain of sand that slipped,
like words on the mirror
that condensation erased.
I hear your breath in the morning
and your sigh late at night,
I've seen black skies and tears
from stars shooting past.

You're the ripple in pools
an imperceptible shrug,
the hollow in my belly
that nothing can fill.

I follow eyes and the tilt of smiles,
the curl of hair that
I never held onto.
Your moon shaped nails
that became translucent
like dust at the end
of a difficult journey.

I catch you in moments,
then I lose you again.






Poetry by Elle The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 909 times
Written on 2009-08-20 at 17:07

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Dee Daffodil
Bittersweet....and lovely !! A very touching piece that I can find bits of myself in.
Hugs,
Dee
2009-08-23


Christin Brennan
i can appreciate your poem-i just have a few comments.

+ "I hear your breath in the morning/ and your sigh late at night,"> awesome lines that i actually can't define. it rings wonderfully with imagery & an untouched sadness.
+ "I follow eyes and the tilt of smiles,"> this is my favorite line. there is such wonder in pure clarity. this doesn't get acknowledged as much as it should in crits. it is taken for granted, but makes a huge difference if replaced by forced obscurity.

+ "...from stars shooting past."> shooting stars rings in my ears with cliche. in my opinion, it is an eruption to this poem's potential.
+ "Your moon shaped nails..."> this sounds forced & is a little out there to be considered decent imagery. i have been guilty of it myself, but it's unfortunately easy to detect when it's someone elses poem.
"love poetry" is actually my least favorite theme, but this was more pleasant than a lot of poetry bravely written on love

christin
2009-08-22



I am a split personality,And I am a good catch,just havnt found the right pitcher yet!

CMP(wee2souls) :)
2009-08-21


jenks The PoetBay support member heart!
got ya!
this is so good on so many levels...
the most interesting to me is how able you are.
bookmarked
2009-08-21


shells
Oh that slipping away, letting go isn't easy is it? Holding on is the hope I suppose. I especially liked the first stanza.
2009-08-20


Eli The PoetBay support member heart!
I relate to this very deeply - I'm sure many of us do. Beautifully written; thanks for sharing.
2009-08-20


NicholasG
Magic is afoot!
2009-08-20


J. E.
Wonderfully expressed, we can all relate to this feeling. Love is true pain I guess. The poem has an excellent flow to it and it all fits together perfectly. Well done.
2009-08-20


Rob Graber
How many times do we catch and lose our lovers? Enjoyed.
2009-08-20