Words. There's Nothing More painful.

The old saying is
Sticks and stones
Will break my bones
But words will never hurt me
Well there wrong
Dead wrong
Said by the people
Who mean the most to you
Words can kill
The words "pack your bags"
Said by my foster mum
Almost knocked me over
I had to lean on the kitchen bench
And calm my body down
To stop myself from bursting into tears
Then the next words
"Don't expect me to ever trust you again"
Every word sliced into me like knives
Every word making the wound deeper
And carving more hurt into my heart
But I knew I deserved it
It hurt
But it was my fault
I broke their trust
But I just hate being treated differently
Because of my up bringing
It's not funken fair
I'm allowed to stay
That calmed me down
But the torture wasn't over
Yet
One last thing
To hit it home
"I'm very disappointed in you"
That done it
That broke me
Made me feel so numb
Made me feel so dead
I saw everything
But I felt so distant
I felt vulnerable
Tears were almost coming out
I couldn't let her see that
I didn't want her to see me cry
Even though she has before
But I didn't want her to feel guilty
It was my fault
I had to make it to my room
It took forever
It was only 10 steps away
But it felt like miles
I opened the door
And I was safe
I was in my room
Safe to let my emotions out
All the tears came out
But I was also angry
I wanted to talk to people
And I did for a bit
But I knew they couldn't help
They tried but
They couldn't do a thing
And then all this rage came
I was so angry
And I couldn't let all my emotions out
I was angry that
It hurt so much
I was angry
Because it was my fault
I was angry
Because I almost screwed everything up
Not just for me but for my sister
That made me so angry
That I was that selfish
I was angry that
I wasn't yelled at
I wanted her to yell
But no
She said those words
In a calm and serious
Voice
I wanted to be punished
But no
Instead she forgave me
But I knew
I screwed it up
I knew things would be different
If I'd behaved
And learnt from
My mistakes
I would probably get her trust back again
But I still hate what I done
I hate how I broke their trust
Especially since I know
Their just doing
What they do
Because they care about me





Poetry by Rachy
Read 664 times
Written on 2009-06-27 at 07:21

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