FORGIVENESS


I'm trying to forgive myself every day,
for awful things I didn't do.
But you led the guilt my way.
Not everything a father says is true.

I left you and the chaos behind,
and your eyes burned my flesh.
All I wanted was to rewind,
but your expertise was to thresh.

And the chaos grew worse,
for each and every day,
like an irrevocable curse
you drank yourself to decay.

Through forever and a year
you put the blame on your child.
"I drink cause you're not here!"
Oh, what a way to be beguiled.

You drank yourself to death
and my burdens doubled up.
As you took your last breath,
your son turned into a grownup.

Oh, how I've fought the blame
of killing you who gave me life.
All in all it was the shame,
that nourished the strife.

And here I am, tired and weary
trying to leave it all behind.
But the ghost of you, sad and eerie,
is always parasiting on my mind.

I'm trying to forgive myself every day,
for the awful things I didn't do.
Oh Father, now I say:
I FORGIVE YOU!



Poetry by Daybreaker
Read 872 times
Written on 2009-09-12 at 00:29

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Dee Daffodil
I really liked this poem. Although it may have been of a personal nature, you dared share it with the world. There are steps along the path to healing and the first is probably realizing that the drinking was in no way YOUR fault. Each of us controls our destiny to some extent. I'm sorry for your loss, sorry for your grief. Well written.
Hugs,
Dee
2009-09-23


Kathy Lockhart
This is a powerful poem Dan. I believe my own son, in some ways, may share these feelings expressed so honestly about the father in this poem. I felt the anger, hurt, and finally the freedom through forgivness of self and of the father. Well done.
Kathy : )
2009-09-12