My, how my life has changed. 15th November 2010.


Within heed.

The consciousness is strange to me,
The rain howls in plains.
Nature turns it's back on me,
Please stop playing these games.
I want to know where I stand,
The grass is greener than before.
Perhaps all I need from you,
Is to entice, and to allure.

The consciousness is blindly free,
The snow distorts to black.
Everything is set to be,
I'm a pawn under attack.
Traces of forbidden truth,
A lie that I may have told.
Guilt strikes me another one,
And has kept me in a hold.

The consciousness to a new degree,
Thunder gasps for air.
My mind is not fixed - seemingly,
Even Jesus does not care.
An early dawn comes to light,
Treading on accrual finds.
Am I doing it just in spite,
I really want to cross those lines.

The consciousness is named 'a creep',
The rain taps on pine.
I lay into paradoxical sleep,
I'll find myself in time.
The sand curls over my feet,
I don't think I can move.
My motion has gone into delete,
Contrary to a common noose.



Poetry by John Ashleigh The PoetBay support member heart!
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Written on 2010-11-15 at 18:10

Tags Change  Life 

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NicholasG
Doesn't consciousness and perception take us on an amazing voyage. The hard part is knowing which parts to dwell upon, I think. Symbolism well used.
Nick.
2010-11-18


Nils Teodor The PoetBay support member heart!
I liked your text very much
Thanks for sharing it
2010-11-16


Editorial Team The PoetBay support member heart!
This text has been chosen to be featured on the front page of PoetBay. Thank you for posting it on our poetry web site.
2010-11-16


existence
interesting description of states of consciousness, John
thanks for sharing
2010-11-16


learnings
In sync with galateus.
Every stanza is beautifully structured. It's a visual treat while reading.
2010-11-16



Now that is powerpacked... every stanza crammed in. Images that stood out for me... 'rain howls in plains,' 'a pawn under attack,' 'thunder gasps for air,' ' rain taps on pine,' and finally, the 'curling' of sand over feet... that is just a marvellous visual. A poem much enjoyed.
2010-11-15