An image that I had in my mind. The dark world that might have been. - 29th November 2010.


Rusted terrene.

A rusted lamp-light
Hidden in the fetid cracks
and out of sight,
Aside from those who hunt it.
A desolate earth -
A whisk of pretense and dust,
Bewildering a curse
for the giving.
Foreboding flower,
The first that we regard,
but still living.
Perhaps my life
Is not so forsaken,
and not so lonely anymore.
Taking carefull steps
toward more barren land,
Swollen clouds,
and my impaired hands.
I cherish royal waters
to share my thoughts.
I cherish all those smiles,
I cant see anymore.



Poetry by John Ashleigh The PoetBay support member heart!
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star mini Editors' choice
Written on 2010-11-29 at 14:12

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Purple Phoenix
Read this over and over... well deserving of editors choice. A fine write.
2010-12-05


Phyllis J. Rhodes
congratulations on editors choice.
The imagry is inticing. The mood is striking.
A well deserved award.
2010-12-02


Editorial Team The PoetBay support member heart!
This text has been chosen to be featured on the front page of PoetBay. Thank you for posting it on our poetry web site.
2010-12-01


Nils Teodor The PoetBay support member heart!
Very well written
Dark but turning grey
moving towards light

Thanks for sharing
2010-11-30


NicholasG
I guess it's our memory of better things that guides us through the hard times.
Well written John
Thanks, Nick
2010-11-30


countryfog
Harrowing but ultimately hopeful . . . light and shadows . . . life.
2010-11-30



Excellent portrayal of humanity looking in the mirror of self as the second participle; the past and present simultaneously. We go through life hoping and you are able to point this out for mankind is somewhat of a character, mother eart is not alone. You are never alone nor forsaken. Clouds filled to the brim when broken are wiser than most. What you've lived to witness gives you the greatest advantage most beyond the age of eighty have yet to experience. I crown you Sir Brave Heart! With helmet, sword, shield and buckler arise and poet!
Magnificent and bravo!
2010-11-30


shells
Dark and desolate, some great lines, two that stand out are " a whisk of pretense and dust" and "swollen clouds and my impaired hands."
2010-11-30


Rob Graber
I like especially the sound and structure of the final four lines.
2010-11-29


josephus The PoetBay support member heart!
A dark and ominous vapour covers this poem. Great staging and wordsmithing!

Joe
2010-11-29