This could be much better, I know. I'll have another look at it tomorrow when I'm less blinded.


Spectacular

You made me bleed
the first time that I heard you
I bled
but it wasn't blood
I cried
but my eyes were dry

I bled emotions
cries of excitement
I danced my soul weary
as my feet were standing still

You made me feel
like the first girl ever to hear you
I fled
but I didn't escape
I ran
but my legs didn't move

I fled to the music
ran through your fields of tones
my heart was pumping out

You made me smile
the first time that I saw you
I felt
but it wasn't there
I saw
but my eyes were shut

I felt emotions
visions of another time
I loved you regardless
as my lungs were yelling up





















-



Poetry by TomitaRiddle
Read 563 times
Written on 2011-06-17 at 20:47

dott Save as a bookmark (requires login)
dott Write a comment (requires login)
dott Send as email (requires login)
dott Print text


JAMES ROSS
*Well done
2011-06-17


JAMES ROSS
I know you say it could be better, but I the rawness in the language and the form is very effective- its almost visceral.
2011-06-17