Qualms of a teenager

Another day ends without a change
No day worth living this life I wanna exchange
Forgive my ignorance, forgive my impatience
The pleasures of life, to me, are strange

A confusing numbness, surpasses all
My feelings and activities all seem to fall
With the rules of life I can barely crawl
This weight I need lifted

I'm not miserable, or poor at thoughts
Its just a phase, like floods and droughts
And I pray, I don't be a prey
Of these dangers that leave me astray

Controlled, tempted, passionate, annoyed
For too many times, I've been toyed
And to be strong, I'm done trying
Now is the time, for some crying

The responsibilities designed, for my heart and mind
Will have to wait, my opinions are blind
Can't bear this burden I know I'll be crushed
Biggest thing I lack, Self Confidence and self trust

The easy way out, is the hard way in
Get too cared for, and get yourself distracted
In search of finding one of your kin
To blood, you get attracted

Slash your hand, scar your arm
Scar your body, its no harm
But touch your soul and lose everything
The chime of Hell's Bells, only thing you'll be listening

So "live life to the fullest"
and never doubt yourself
I wish I could do the same
but now its too late




Poetry by Jalaj Soni
Read 556 times
Written on 2011-10-23 at 10:59

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Stan Cooper The PoetBay support member heart!
Hi Jalaj...you asked for a review and any constructive critique

Firstly, I'm amazed at one as young as you can think and
philosophize about life as deeply as you do...You are a thinker
and you write well...

Just one other thing..."thoughts" and "droughts" do not rhyme..

The vowel sound in "thoughts" is "aw", as in the word "awe"
while the vowel sound in "droughts" is "ow" as in the word "now"

Keep writing

friend Stan
2011-11-21


Jalaj Soni
I try :)
2011-10-25


jenks The PoetBay support member heart!
some things are in your contol and i hope you love them :)
2011-10-25