originally written 11/10/08, revised 4/13/12.


pieces of peace

i pray unto mars,
the everlasting god of bloodshed,
that he should deal mercifully
with the hearts of the peoples of the world,
but all i receive in return for all of my supplications
is a lake of blood
and a leaking heart



Poetry by Thomas Perdue The PoetBay support member heart!
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Written on 2012-04-18 at 23:24

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Rob Graber
Hi, Thomas. Nice to hear you resurface on the bay! Line 5 seems a bit wordy. One alternative would be to simply shorten it to "but all I receive in return." Just a thought; I enjoyed the write!
2012-04-19