My mom`s new carpet

as the hot coffee
burns down my throath
and leaves me breatless
on the white tablecloth

i see the troubles of this day
travelling through a tunnel
speedtunnel from
the west wing of hell

and so..

the darlings of time
brought my soul to the asylum
and left the troubles
i saw as i.. spilled

the delicious morning coffee
on my mom`s new carpet




Poetry by Cr4Ky
Read 783 times
Written on 2006-04-02 at 23:32

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Teala
Wow, this is very good---Kind of like dazing away and not realizing the coffee--or time--or whatever, has passed you by, and you just slip away from reality..
2006-04-11



you hardly said anything about the carpet, let alone that it was new,
and probably blood and sweated for by mum..... my, my....
and yet the whole poem built up to that point and what a build-up it was!
Now I'm dealing with the backlash.......
Well done!

p.s. typo on 'breat[H]less' on the third line of the first stanza.
2006-04-04


Lourdes
You`ve got rythm
I like it . L.
2006-04-04


Zoya Zaidi
Ooops!You've had it!

"i see the troubles of this day
travelling through a tunnel
speedtunnel from
the west wing of hell"

Love, this lines, an the approach.

(((hugs)))
Love, xxx, Zoya
2006-04-03


liz munro The PoetBay support member heart!
LOVE IT!
Liz
2006-04-03


Jon Hanover
Dark and twisted my favorite state of being sometimes. Great poem.
2006-04-03