It’s ok I know what you want from me but I wil l give it to you anyway; just to feel how you usually talk to the ones you love I know that you secretly hate me you can’t even admit it to yourself, I know I know, I also know(not a hunch, evidence based knowledge)you once made me look like a monster so you can keep away someone you love from me.

It’s ok, I will keep writing you letters. You said that when reading my words you felt that I love you, really love you all the other times you felt that I hate you. But I don’t .you. are forgiven always were but you can’t believe it because you can’t forgive yourself and while I talk to you; you listen to other voices in your head not my voice. I will keep writing to you, my words will never change they will be there on a paper and each time you read them you will understand something else or really feel my love, I will be there for you. You might use my written words as evidence, that I really hate you but when your friend(s)read my words with a clear mind they will only feel my love.

It’s ok. You(I) love me(you) and used me as your means to revenge(not as means to an END the end). You’ve got your revenge(I didn’t understood that back then but you told  me so without understanding that you told me so, anyway)you ‘ve got your revenge and now you judge yourself, you judge yourself so harshly that you only appear in front me, visit me, only when you can somehow help me or brag about your latest achievement. It’s ok, you are loved always were. Am there for you but I am the road that leads to nowhere.  What you don’t really admit(but you told me so without understanding that you told me so) is that you secretly wanted to be as the person you hate and now that you have achieved what that person had achieved you realize that this was not the answer to the riddle of happiness & self-esteem and you keep judging the person you became(who?)That’s right.