A War, Lost

I can’t get loneliness off my mind
It’d feel better to rip out my spine
I fought all my battles on the frontline
Yet my victories meant nothing in time
Ever changing, like the rhythm of rhyme
Now i’m stuck dodging the land mines
All the sweat and the blood blind
Sowing and reaping, a fate divine





Poetry by Leila
Read 824 times
Written on 2013-06-19 at 04:23

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The first line is haunting, no . . . it's claustrophobic, trapped in your mind, no exit. Panic sets in. I set you pulling out your spine as if it were a parachute's ripcord.

Well done.
2013-06-23



Would have sounded better with metre. The poem's an art much forgotten, but an art nonetheless; craft it, sculpt it, then you can write paradise.
2013-06-19