A Poem Veering Off Into A Strange Metaphor

 

. . . barely October and already a blizzard in the upper plains

 

 

 

 

Cold and crisp . . . how clichés are always true -

Hundreds of tiny petals of brown hydrangea

Breaking off almost audibly in the wind rising

Ahead of the storm, the dry click and clatter

Of pine needles skittering across dead grass,

The voice of one wren clipped off in mid-song,

Winter beginning to stutter an old story: dark

Clouds ominous as a doomed ship, snapping

Sails filling with driven snow in the Dakotas,

Thunder of timbers slammed by sea swells,

A faint glimmer of sun in the eastern oaks

Like Ahab's gold coin nailed to the mainmast.

The great white season sounding on the horizon.

 





Poetry by countryfog
Read 679 times
Written on 2013-10-06 at 16:55

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Tempestuous and rambunctious imagery: very effective.
A quiet unsettling of the emotions results... The blizzard brought vicariously to life.
2013-10-08


Lawrence Beck The PoetBay support member heart!
You always write well, Fog, but this poem is packed with such vivid imagery. It's in a class by itself. (Personally, I'm dreading the arrival of the cold weather. I'm a summer soldier.)
2013-10-08


josephus The PoetBay support member heart!
My garden in fall is an over ripe place ready for a good cleaning with all the annuals pullled and ready or composting. They have already self seeded promising a riot of flowers in no pattern whatsoever next spring. My bamboo is impervious to seasons;it just exists quietly, zen like. Its neighbour, my hydrangea is starting to go dormant, losing its leaves and blooms. The poppies, which have withered to nothing in late summer are now regenerating in leaf and growing to be ready for bloom next spring.

The autunm sky is just as you so aptly described, however, I love its boisterousness and bombast. It promises winter with all its cold and snap. Skiing can't be far behind!
2013-10-07



Yes, in line 8 you take a seaward tack. I guess a poem's course is sometimes as undetermined as a ship's course in a tempest.
2013-10-06


Elle The PoetBay support member heart!
We had our first storms a couple of weeks ago and are now lulled back into a beautiful Indian summer - your description made me think of my garden. I was up at dawn this morning as the sun rose, my hydrangea is looking burnt and bare with just the remnants of the flower, leaves are falling in such beautiful colours - I will need to spend some time soon in clearing them up -I hope you get through your blizzard safely.

Elle
2013-10-06