Till the End
Though my heart breaksEverytime I see your eyes leaking red,
Somehow, I am unable to hold my tongue
And bite back my bitter remarks.
When I am with you,
I feel as if no conscience lies within me,
And although my brain screams at me stop,
I take no notice as I snap at you...
For everything,
For nothing.
I desperately wish to treat you
With the respect that you deserve,
But knowing that I just cannot
Fills me with more self-hatred,
More remorse,
Than one person should ever have to feel.
I feel sure that my soul is fit to burst.
All of these emotions seem so unnatural,
Especially as I experience them all at once.
Forgive me,
Forgive me,
For I have sinned.
Still, you love me no less,
Which makes this guilt even heavier,
And makes me even more pathetic.
The mass of all of this will surely kill me one day...
Unless I redeem myself.
But how?
I deserve no forgiveness.
I deserve nothing at all.
Perhaps, if I tried a bit harder,
Perhaps.
Perhaps.
Because I definitely cannot do this anymore:
Snapping at you,
And moments later,
Allowing pure dread and shame to settle in,
And completely captivate my thoughts.
I will no longer allow my love for you
To be dissolved by my lack of maturity.
I was wrong.
I am wrong.
I love you till the end,
And that is all that matters.
Poetry by Amanda Manmohan
Read 740 times
Written on 2006-04-23 at 20:19
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