Swallow your tear don’t give in to fears

I am not One with none of you!!!

On my way out I noticed a beggar that was alluding to the theology of kneeling He was holding a sign begging for money for food while kneeling and praying with his hands put together pointing at the sky as in a prayer I approached him while he was trying to reposition his knee because he could not stand the pain of the continual kneeling anymore and without saying anything I gave him my banana he quickly looked into my eyes tried to find the eyes of the savior but that didn’t happen he stopped searching into my eyes but didn’t stop looking at me I felt the inner warmth he recalled inside him I smiled and left.

On my way to the mall I noticed something I've never seen before an older beggar with a yorkshire terrier covered with a blanket sitting next to him on the pavement Oh my god and I made a mental note quickly changed my plans and went to the pet store first

I was going to go there anyway. I explained to one of the owners of the pet store what I saw and asked which pet food is fitting for a yorkshire terrier she told me that they are expensive and pointed at puppy food “it cost less and the dog certainly need the extra calories.” I bought it, it would last him at least 2-3 weeks I also bought cat food for my cat and while I was ready to leave the store she exclaimed: Wait! … and gave me a dental stick for the dog for free! Yay! Thank you! I told her and went to the beggar that was just 2 minutes away I approached him gave him the dental stick first and told him that it was a gift from the pet store and gave him the dog food He thanked me kindly and I wanted to pet the dog but A condemning voice told me: “Oh my god you gave the beggar DOG FOOD!!!” - but of course I did I told her with eyes filled with love and moved so she could see the dog. She was approaching the beggar in order to give him some money and to teach her son something.

I don’t consider beggars as lower class citizens like the issue of untouchability in india the untouchable ones etc.  but she thought that I gave the beggar dog food to show him what he is worth …

I moved on went to the mall as previously planned in order to buy a LED bulb but what was heartwarming was that when I approached the beggar I also noticed that other people had given him dog treats for his doggie I felt touched and what I could say to the woman in order to “defend myself”was that he could share his meal of the day with the dog but that would not be enough and he would eventually find a way to get a meal but his poor loyal dog could not… that is why I chose to give him food for his dog. What I forgot to tell him but I will remember it next time is that you can go to the red cross show them your empty bank account for at least some weeks and they give you free food… anyway back to the mall but something happened there as well.

I went into the store to buy a Led bulb someone next to me that also searched for the right bulb felt lost while looking at the LED bulbs and our eyes met he saw the question mark in my eyes and answered “I need a new bulb for the kitchen” Ah do you need a stronger light because that’s what I am looking for I answered  “No I need one that does not give me headaches and make my eyes hurt. A weaker one” Ah I see I said and explained to him that when you search for a bulb you no longer let the maximum wattage tell you what you need to know but the Lumens and showed him He felt he wanted to share from which country he comes from I acknowledged that I know where Iran exists in the map and I felt that he was waiting for something as well but inside me I thought “Fuck no I am done with that I am not picking side! No I will not do that to you!!!”but that was my inner war and not his and I calmly turned my eyes on the light bulbs My silence confused him he truly searched inside him and told me: “We are all humans no matter where we come from” I briefly searched into his eyes I felt at peace and continued helping him find the right bulb I also noticed that the price felt too high for him that is why I took him to the discount basket Found him a fitting bulb “Why are you so humane why do you care” he asked me intensely Ah I know how difficult it was for me to find out about the difference with LED bulbs and understand the difference I replied that is why and I smiled and said bye bye moved on with my day He also said thank you.

That’s how much it costs to be present and be present while creating moments together with others The most tragic moment is when we remain so flipping locked inside ourselves and sucked in in a specific emotion and stop being in touch with our humanity stop feeling empathy for the other one DONT stop comparing let’s call it  - the source of our pain But the other one is not the source of our pain he/she just happens to be burdened with everything everyone we ever knew did or did not do to us. No more ghosts No more shadows Just You and I - right now - We think the bully is the one the one that lacks empathy but as soon as we feel hurt we stop using our empathy and the bully becomes the MONSTER!!! Really?

… to be continued :)

 
PS. Oh and later on that day I saw a woman giving a banana to another beggar and I smiled