what a confused notion of mine
as i sit here todaythinking about the times that have passed my way
ive realised that my life is a game which everyone else plays
a pawn,figure, an empty shell which is opaque
a shell made to look full...a simulation of what should be
but im aware of it...thats the difference between you and me
you see...
i search for something to fill me
whether permanent or temporary
something to keep my sanity
someone to hold this entity
this soul released from sanctuary......
but the paradox of my situation
is that there IS an answer to this problem
but that sancturary, as perfect as it posed itself
couldnt handle an imperfect soul
so now i make it my goal
to be as close to perfection as possible
to fit the requirements to enter my own heart's heaven
that heaven which is cast off into another's heart
four letters and one meaning...but still we are apart
i think perception is the problem at this junction
but maybe my perception is the problematic one
because maybe i would never be good enough
maybe that heaven is jus a synthetic dream
which is a thought my heart wont believe
so maybe i AM a pawn in this game
and maybe i actually like the game
what a confused notion of mine
to mix up something so divine
with devious plots and emptiness
and no girl its not fine
to have all these thoughts and memories flowing painfully in my mind
while you laugh when these issues i address
so its here i draw the line
because with all these words my love alone have i defined
but i guess to you my love is useless.
Poetry by Steven Mawer
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Written on 2006-04-27 at 03:57
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