A continuation of my previous post from far too long ago.


The Modern Man's Love Story (Part 2)

Man 1- (holding his double shot of jameson up) If the ocean were whiskey and I were a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and never come up.
Man 2- Cheers.

Man 1- (after their shot) That's good stuff.
Man 2- You always were a Jameson type of guy weren't you.
Man 1- Meh, virtue needs some cheaper thrills.
Man 2- What's that supposed to mean?
Man 1- It means I wish I could have more fun without drinking.
Man 2- I thought that was a Calvin and Hobbes quote.
Man 1- It is.
Man 2- Pretty sure Calvin didn't drink.
Man 1- Meh.

Man 1 retrieves the bottle and brings it back into the living room and proceeds to pour another round of shots.

Man 1- Anyways, we're at this god awful bar listening to 80's Hair Metal and rehashing the "glory days" when- oh, shit (he spills a bit of his beer down his shirt)
Man 2- I'll get you a paper towel, where are they?
Man 1- No, don't worry, might as well keep this honest.
Man 2- I'm sorry?
Man 1- Authentic. Might as well make this an authentic retelling.
Man 2- I guess "fairly hung over" was a bit of an understatement then.
Man 1- I consider my lack of tolerance a blessing, actually. In any case, we're rehashing the "glory days" when my friend asks me about my wife and starts telling the story about the day she and I got married.
Man 2- He was there?
Man 1- Very, very, old friend. Yeah. It was a nice ceremony. Low key, understated class, few in attendance.
Man 2- That's hard to believe knowing her now. I figured she would have wanted a rather extravagant wedding, at least as far as attendance. She has a lot of friends.
Man 1- She was different then, so was I, to be honest.
Man 2- Hm... So he started talking about your wedding? That seems... insensitive.
Man 1- He wasn't aware of the situation, but regardless I felt, at the time, as though it was somewhat odd to be mentioning.
Man 2- I'd have to agree.

(There's another pause in the conversation as Man 1 takes a moment to examine his beer dampened shirt and light another cigarette.)

Man 2- Screw it, let me get one of those.
Man 1- No, you said you quit.
Man 2- I won't sit here sober while you chain smoke and drool into your shirt. Pass me that Jameson and a smoke.
Man 1- It's your life. Let me change my shirt while you're doing that, (mumbles incoherently just loud enough to be heard but not understood as he steps off-stage, from off-stage he yells back to Man 2 "Would you like to hear about the wedding?"

*** End Act I***

**************************************************************

***Begin Act II***

(Setting to be inserted HERE at a later date, as of now please imagine a minimalistic and understated wedding rehearsal dinner.) There are 3 people in their mid to late 50's, the rest are all in their mid to late 20's. People at the Table are chatting quietly, awaiting the beginning of the ceremony.

Bride to be (First Lady)- Don't you think it's about time to start, sweety?
A younger Man 1 (Man 1 from act 1, younger, earlier in his life, Will be "Groom" for convenience)- I suppose. We're here.
Groom- (Chimes his wine glass to command the attention of those in attendance) To all my- (he realizes that he isn't speaking quite loud enough, clears his throat, and begins again) To all of our friends who could make it tonight, I think I speak for both of us when I say that we are grateful, and humbled, by the efforts you all have made to attend our ceremony. Thank you.
(Those seated around him clap politely, the bride's mother gently dabs at her eyes with a lace handkerchief)
Groom- I, uh, I've never really been much of a public speaker, as you all know. So I'm going to try to keep this brief. This dinner, tomorrow's ceremony, and tomorrow's dinner are all still a bit of a dream to me. I am a disgustingly lucky man-
Best Man (seated directly to the Groom's left, friend from William's in Act I)- Disgusting is right, you sick bastard!
Groom- (half-heartedly aside, but so that all at the table can hear it.) Thanks, for that. (Muted chuckles from table, he redirects his attention whole heartedly towards the rest of table) I AM a lucky man to be standing here, addressing my closest friends, my Mother, and my beautiful bride's closest friends and parents. We are both blessed to have you all in our lives, and as excited as I am to be getting married to such a wonderful woman, it really would not be the same without all of you here. Thank you, again.

(All those at the table applaud quietly and politely, the Groom's Mother poorly attempts to hold back tears of joy and pride.)

(The First Lady rises to give her Groom a kiss on the cheek, he takes a seat as she remains standing.)

First Lady- (She has a commanding presence, a natural born public speaker with a sweet and compelling voice.) For all of my love's short-comings, he always has known how not to waste breath. As some of you may already know, he prefers to find his voice through a pen. When he first told me that he writes poetry, I was skeptical... to say the least. The first time he mentioned that he had written for me? I was terrified. Oh god, I thought, please don't make me sit through the reading of some awful, amateur poet's "please love me" ode. What I didn't know at the time was that he was destined to be an artist. We had only dated for a couple of months at the time, so please, don't judge me. Now, while my Groom slaves away at his desk ripping page after page out of his notebooks and crumpling them into basketballs to toss towards the bin in his office, I can only watch with admiration as he charges head first into every possible emotion, every beautiful moment, and every tear shed in the name of securing that moment's future. His silent perseverance is something that I believe he learned from his Mother, who I would now like to thank, as this trait is one of the most endearing and beneficial facets of his current, and future, success.

(Those in attendance applaud her words, and the Groom's mother bursts wholly into tears, trying desperately not to sob audibly)

First Lady Continues- To our friends and family, you all have given us so much of who we are now. You have shaped us, and made us both better people. Our coming together (she gestures towards the groom) is as much attributed to all of you as it is to our own catastrophic attempts to flirt with one another.
(The entire table chuckles briefly, including the Groom's mother, who "yelps" a half sob and half laugh.)
First Lady Continues- So in honor of all of you, for being such incredible people, here's to the matrimony of not just two families, but one family of friends and blood relatives alike finally coming entirely together.

Maid of Honor (seated directly to the Bride's right)- Here, here! (she raises her wine glass) To family!

Entire Table- Here, here!

(The First Lady takes her seat, and the rest of the table chats quietly enough for the ensuing conversation between the First Lady, the Groom, the Best Man, and the Maid of Honor to be heard by the audience. *their chatter can also be silent, and gestured/mouthed to give the appearance of conversation to the audience.)

Groom- You had to say something poetic, didn't you?
First Lady- Well, you didn't. I figured one of us should have.
Maid of Honor- I think it was beautiful, hey, when is the-

(Food is delivered, and her glass of wine if refilled. The server attempts to stop at a normal serving of wine, but she motions for the server to continue pouring, twice, until the glass is almost completely filled. This takes place while she listens attentively to the current conversation.

Maid of Honor- Never mind.
Best Man- So, mm, this is a damn good wine, uh, right. So, what's next?
First Lady- Well, dinner with dessert tonight. Tomorrow the dinner will also be a social. There will be music, plenty of booze, etc. So, let's not drink too much tonight, alright? (drinking too much clearly directed at the Best Man.)
Maid of Honor- (mid sip, and spoken incredulously.) What?
Best Man- No, no, I mean. That's great. I meant like, what's next after the wedding for you guys.
Groom- A honeymoon, a few years of happy marriage, and then death I suppose.
(The Maid of Honor snorts)
Best Man- Funny.
First Lady- I would hope it's more than a few years... (understanding it's a joke, not fearfully.)
Groom- Never can tell, really. Guess we'll just have to make the most of what we get.
Maid of Honor- Easy for you to say.
Groom- Anything is easy for anyone to say. But, y'know, I think you're on to something.

(the Groom beckons a server and requests more alcohol for the four of them, at this point the lights have been slowly dimming around their table so that only the four of them and the occasional server stepping into the ring of light to serve them are visible.)

Groom- Virtue needs some cheaper thrills. Let's drink.
Best Man- To my best friend and his lovely bride, to many years of happiness, and to the steady distance from bliss that all true artists must maintain. Cheers.

(They all drink.)

First Lady- Steady distance from bliss? That might be hard for this one.
Best Man- I thought you knew him better by now?
First Lady- What's that supposed to mean?
Groom- It means, darling, that like any true writer I am predisposed to heightened awareness.
First Lady- Well, heighten your awareness now, pumpkin. I'm great, and we're happy now. We'll be happy later, too.
Groom- Of course we will, dear. My point is merely that it is my job to dwell on the irrelevant, the impertinent, and the indefinite. You know I write what I experience. It's my truth. Sometimes to make those moments your own you have to put a silly hat on it. Or a pair of fuzzy mittens. Or, even, have it killed. It's the distance from bliss that he is referring to, having to be objectively distanced from that which makes itself most striking to you. That's what it means to be an artist.
First Lady- I would have picked a better night to mention murder, probably.
Groom- Well, it's always more difficult to time things off the page.
First Lady- Funny, dear.
Maid of Honor- (Beginning to sway from drinking too much) Why are you guys talking about killing things? Shouldn't you be doing the opposite? (She playfully nudges the First Lady with her elbow, and accidentally spills wine all over her own dress, as well as...)
Maid of Honor- OH DAMN IT. (She has spilled the remainder of her glass upon the Groom.)

(The Best Man begins to laugh uncontrollably, pounding the table with one hand and balancing his wine glass in the other.

Maid of Honor- What's so funny, jack ass? Do you have any idea how much these dresses cost?
Best Man- Not as much as I would have made if I had taped that!






Poetry by Phill
Read 725 times
Written on 2016-09-24 at 06:43

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