car crashes, pity, guilt - - liquid - drenched
crispy lungs. roads and shameless salutes to bobby dylan.


Get

Poor us then. Poor them and poor car crash, poor
sad-eyed Lady of the News Flash and poor, poor surly
smirk of glass. Surely. Poor collide. Poor smack of faces
with each snide
streak of concrete, poor leaking
blood dash - poor complete Lossness.
Poor faceless. Poor unspeak. Pouring
rain then. (Poor wordplay). Oh how cheap, how
bloody cheap. How cheap and messful.
Poor weeping lump of limpness, poor limbs. Pourful and
how drenched. How drenched. How damp and soaking. Damp us
then. Damp them and damp car crash. Poor
dampful lungs - poor damp, soaking lung-knots.

This is a bad place, somebody has dried the herds of flowers
so that their petals look like toasted butterfly wings.

Here is any lovely specimen of bridges over motorways, or
here is this - this
is whole, or this is you admiting you spent your last fiver
on a few eloquent boxes of lightbulbs and matches. Tomothy you
musn't lie. Tomothy tell us - were those her fingernails or
just frogspawn? Today Tomothy, today.
Tomothy believe me because I don't doubt shame on
Thursdays. I do not doubt that The Last Supper was a picnic
wrenched from clotting oceans - but are those the noises we
should make, or just the smudges of blustery insects? Get out,
get out please.
Get out then.


I do not doubt your promises, but my legs hurt and I
keep feeling that my eyes are bald.

After cups of tea or a pub. The cryings. Cry
us then. Cry them and cry car crash. Cry sad-
eyed Lady of the News Flash.

And then you spoke a bit. And said how they really were
quite fragile.



Poetry by Claire
Read 1047 times
Written on 2005-08-04 at 19:58

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F.i.in.e Moods The PoetBay support member heart!
ok my mind is racing now hehe ;) the short lines in the first stanza give your poem a fast-pace just like the world seems to unfurl around us... i find the effect really neat... i dont understand the part about Tomothy though... i have no idea who you are referring to and i feel i might be losing a bit of the meaning or intention in the second stanza because of that... my impression is these are reflections of the chaos around us and our ways in general... originality which strikes interest... very good poem... i enjoyed reading... thanks for sharing :)

later...xx
2005-08-05


intothehaze
I like the word play quite well. I like the made up words too. This is highly original and easy to read from start to finish. No boredom anywhere here to be seen, quite intriguing piece of work.
2005-08-05


Claire
I guess the local news stations cover "happier" stories more often than the large ones - my local news station is bumbling and embarrassing but does cover "nice" little events like school fates and sponsored walks attempting to raise money for the local dog home ("nice" but pretty boring right?)

If only there was more positive news for the large stations to cover.

Thank you for reading my poem :)
2005-08-04


chasingtheday The PoetBay support member heart!
i'll try but i refuse to promise anything :) looks at the can and falls over :)
2005-08-04


Claire
cheers for reading it, don't get too drunk

;)
2005-08-04


chasingtheday The PoetBay support member heart!
laughing at poor wordplay - welcome claire.
speech impediment and all we love tomothy.
ok on first reading i am thinking pubs and road and one for. though i have been drinking so i am distorted as i type ;) glad you posted here claire, i recall you from allp and we need some good people here to get things moving. at the moment people post and just vanish in a puff of poetry.
i will read this again when i am sober but hey there's my first impressions :D
2005-08-04