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30 years old from

Written 23.05.2012

Dear the One

Written 2012-08-26

I wish you exist..
I miss you terribly, and every time a beautiful man, a man that has some of your beautiful, addictive qualities comes my way, and he's not you, I feel like a part of me dies, the hope slowly gets eroded. My picture of you blurred and tainted.

I wish you exist.
You quiet man in the corner, gently changing peoples lives, seeing me for who I am and not letting any excuse get in the way for coming after me.

I wish you exist.
But you seem to be more and more, what I should be.
So I don't know how to recognize you, other than life gliding us towards each other at a thousand miles per hour, knowing, knowing it's you.
But even this is tainted.
I've known before, and been wrong.
But life has never said yes, thought I frequently misread it.

I wish you exist.
And that I knew.
So I wouldn't be this weak, and keep dreaming of the one man that really would wound me, just because he bears your name, or a name I recognize, just because he glides so easily into the dream. While others become options, he sneaks inside me and haunts me.
I stand and fight.

I wish you exist.
To protect me from myself.

To touch your face, nothing sweeter.
To gently kiss your lips, nothing more delicious.
To feel your skin beneath my fingers, and you so intoxicatingly near me.
To know, this is pure, untainted, beautiful love shared knowingly.

I wish you exist.
Because this dream is slowly erasing itself, replaced by something darker, meaner and colder.

I wish you exist.

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