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Ivan R

38 years old from Sweden




Getting really personal here, and why shouldŽnt I

Mother

Written 2015-07-14



Mom, I remember when I defended you
against my dad

he was drunk, buddies waiting at the door

you on the sofa,
me on the side
taking shit from everyone
but I was there when it came down

I was 12 years old

he whispered in my ear that I was no good
a punk
then laughed on his way out to the cool ones

you and I
ashamed
that I had taken his place

you were 35,
and I was then
a man


Now I am that punk, that no good shit
living under your roof
no money, no rent

But you treat me like a boyfriend and/or something else

like I am only 12



And I should not dare to leave you


My dad is good now, sober, older, mature
a life good

and my mom has a new boyfriend, Mats

he drinks, as do I

And what a thing it is

to be 12 and a man

I keep saying that because I feel like a boy
acting like one


IŽm sorry, mother,
you are the best

but looking out for my interests

I should better handle it
myself

Te amo*



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Diary

2015

July (1)