I'm just thankful to be able to report the news


The Thanksgiving Tragedy

In the middle of the supermarket
On aisle 8 where I find the bread
I struggle with my cart and park it
Then stare and scratch my head

I am looking for the bargin rolls
Eighteen people are coming to eat
Another cart rolls over my toes
Torchering my suffering feet

With rolls on top I push the cart
along the dairy case
Thanksgiving shopping is like an art
Paired with a NASCAR race

Soon I need to make my move
I want to be near the cheese
But I'm stuck in a cart-line groove
Lady, move an inch, please!

I'm coming around the last aisle
my cart is bulky and bloated
I see a new register open and smile
But there's another cart fully loaded

I grit my teeth and head straight in
I'll give no quarter today
The other driver gives a nasty grin
And nods, a challenge? Okay!

The noise of the crash wakes the dead
We see them walking around
Their eyes bulge out of their heads
As they seek to silence the sound

It sounds like hell for aluminum
Where bad cans and carts must go
And deamons there consuming them
screech and scream and crow

The sight is even worse
The crowd has turned their heads
A naked turkey has burst
The gizzard runs bloody and red

The stream of blood has run
Upon a broken pie
The pumpkin custard is done
It's a terrible way to die

The cranberry sause is seeping
All over cracked up eggs
And the pickle relish is weeping
As the broccoli simply begs

We'll have Thanksgiving this year
We'll give thanks as we should
We'll do it with a tear
And say, the bologna sure was good!




Poetry by Phyllis J. Rhodes
Read 601 times
Written on 2006-11-21 at 22:11

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Jessica Rexroat
Mom! This is GREAT! I laughed and laughed and I actually saw all of it happening! You and Shel Silverstien play on the same court, and that is an excellant court to be on!
2006-11-22


Sam lockhart
Oh Gosh! I can't get my breath. This story made me laugh like mom used to laugh. I stoped,started then tried to stop but can't. Thank you, I needed that
2006-11-22


Kathy Lockhart
Only my Phyllis could write this calamity with such howling humor! I saw it all, heard it, felt it, but at last I won't eat it. No bolony!
This is a classic for sure!
2006-11-21


wee2souls
oh!!! you been into that Eggnog!! oh!! loved this race all the way to the finish line!!
Full of bologna!! eh!!
this was a trip:)
loved this much:))
the last line!!knocked me of my chair lol:))

hugs to you
cindymac:))
2006-11-21


keith nunes
terrific! lol a great report of woe told with immensely likeable humour. nicely put phyl
2006-11-21