Threshold apprehension

It's like a battlefield here, inside
It was created for you
Give me the words
and I'll say them like I mean it
Whatever you want to hear
I'll say it loud and clear

I know you've got time
but what are you waiting for?
I need a guarantee
Please don't disagree

Lie with me, I could lie with you
we could do the things that lovers do
share late night kisses
make heart shaped bruises
no more excuses

Poetry by Natalie
Read 487 times
star mini Editors' choice
Written on 2008-10-19 at 20:15

dott Save as a bookmark (requires login)
dott Write a comment (requires login)
dott Send as email
dott Print text

Editorial Team The PoetBay support member heart!


Your text has been chosen by the Editors to receive a Gold Star!


Beautiful, as always, with an incredible flow and rythm! :)


Stan Cooper
Natalie....beautiful poem...I particularly liked the
imaginative line, "make heart shaped bruises"

xxx Stan

Rob Graber
I really like how this handles rhyme and rhythm--a lovely little love poem. One technicality: Because "lay" is not reflexive, line 11, in prestige dialect, would read "Lie with me, I could lie with you" or "Lay you [or 'yourself'] down with me, I could lay me [or 'myself']." But your use of "lay" does sound quite natural because the usage is widespread; you may well prefer it after all!

heart shaped bruises <3

i love the last few lines. it feels like a song.