snippets of my life experiences which I shall forever remember

Amusements in Unpoetry

One time an aunt of mine said:
"Why, he don't know shit from applebutter!"
I gasped to my 8 year old self
and put my hand over my smile.
We didn't talk like that at home.

Another aunt of mine complained
her hair was a mess that day.
She sighed and explained,
"My hair looks like a stump full of granddaddies."
We've laughed a thousand times
of the picture that conjured.

Some may need further explaination.
I'll assume you know what a stump is.
Well, they are favorite places for
granddaddy longleg spiders.
And a stumpfull, with all their long, hinged legs
would indeed make a good comparrison
to a bad hair day.

My daddy had a love-hate relationship with cats.
He didn't want them in the house
but he always kept them fed.
One day he put some kitchen scraps
in a metal plate outside.
And when a cat came to feed
he decided to get some amusement.
So, he picked up a handy rock
and threw it hard and true.
It hit that metal plate so hard
the cat grew wings and flew.
Dad said with a big wide grin,
"If that cat had looked back,
he'd have run through himself!"

Just after a lunch of salad with Parmessian crutons
raddishes, and vinegar and oil with garlic dressing,
I craved something sweet,
and so I stopped to visit with my granddaughter.
At two-and-a-half, I marvel at her maturity.
As I picked her up to put her in the swing,
I kissed her on her cheek.
As I pulled her up to me to start her swinging
she said, "I smell something."
I gave her a big push and asked,
"Does it smell good or bad?"
As she swung near to me she answered,
I pushed her and asked, "Where is the smell coming from?"
As she swung back near to me she said:
"Your face."

Poetry by Phyllis J. Rhodes
Read 350 times
Written on 2010-03-25 at 03:54

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Maybe you shoulda smacked the granddaughter that time. Just kidding, but sometimes they do need it you know. I would like to know what kind of perfume you were using that day, or do you smoke? Kids can be brutally honest sometimes can't they?

I love these. I have heard Don't know shit from shinola. Must be about the same thing--I guess.


Stan Cooper
"Out of the mouths of babes"

Enjoyed your poem

xxx Stan