More song lyrics - kind of a hybrid of new ideas and existing poems that I've been scanning through. I will also appreciate any input/critique. That kind of help is often invaluable.




The prettiest thing

I’ve travelled some roads
where there is only sky
so many questions
often wondering why

 

Before you were born

I had a dream
you had eyes like your mother
and your skin was like cream

 

All that I ask
is you let me be me
look at my story
and leave some mystery

 

And I will believe
in who you are
see into your past
be kind to your scars

 

La la la la la

 

The prettiest thing
I’ve ever seen
was the day that you smiled and
brought a flower to me

 

On a beach full of sand
so fine in our toes
it feels like a shame
I have to let you grow

 

The road is long
and the journey is sweet
when the signs you are given
are signs you can see

 

So take this trip
leave the wind in your hair
it’s only lonely
when you’re not there

 

La la la la la





Poetry by Eli The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 983 times
Written on 2016-02-18 at 11:45

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Jamsbo Rockda The PoetBay support member heart!
Very nice. As a lyricist from way back I would not dream of critiquing you.
2016-02-24


Ivan R
Beautiful, it comes out like a classic rock n'roll vibe, a bit of punk rock, but overall, I read this with a sense of a hip-hop move... just really true and good, and melodic and hopeful... like a great John Lennon tune*
Nice!

Language: 4
Format: 4
Mood: 5
Overall: 5
2016-02-19


shells
Good rhyme scheme, I enjoyed the journey. I wonder if it's about a child, yours? It's simple, but beautifully effective.

Language: 5
Format: 5
Mood: 5
Overall: 5
2016-02-18