Ref, er, are you dumb?
Excuse me, my old mocha,Do you like your soccer?
I think you do judging by your shirt,
Why that's seen some Wembley dirt,
The red, the white, the blue,
That livery clearly suits you,
So as a footballing fan
Can I ask you man to man,
Would you like a game
Between Leave and Remain?
I knew it, of course you would,
One-off matches are in our blood.
Team Leave will play Team Remain
And whichever wins will gain
The Cup of EU IN or EU OUT,
For this is what democracy is all about -
The winner takes all, second will not do,
So let us start the final between the two.
Team Leave begin well,
Their hearts ( and shirts ) swell
With patriotic pride and sweat,
My goodness they look a good bet,
And yes! They've scored before half-time,
Thank heaven this line will rhyme;
Another forty-five minutes start,
Kicking the ball of stay or part,
Why, Team Leave have scored an own goal,
How ironic it was by a naturalised Pole,
Now the scores are level,
Who will be angel or devil?
Oh, it's one all at full-time,
Thank heaven this line will rhyme;
Extra-time is played,
But the outcome is delayed,
The bad smell of stalemate beckons,
Or so the referee reckons,
And the whistle blows the end of open play,
Now penalties will win the day,
But our national teams' results suggest
That a shoot out is not the best way
To win the argument of go or stay;
Remain, leave, leave, remain,
Britain will never be the same again.
Poetry by Christopher Fernie
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Written on 2016-06-10 at 14:18
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Kathy Lockhart |
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