I am not bulimic but I tried it once. I could never keep that up.


Sacrament

With my belly engorged
by the remnants of a thousand calories
I wish I could rid myself
of such filth--
dark, dreaded seeds sown deep
in my insides.


Once I tried,
staring down the bleached-white bowl,
finger down my gaping throat.


But the little bits stuck
to the back,
made me sick.


Retch, wretched ritual.
Staining the bowl, clouding the soul.
And the taste,
so sour and virulent--
I just couldn't force it up again.



How I miss gauntness,
h o l l o w n e s s,
and vacancy swallowing me--
my own inner sanctum,
a solace from the rain,
from the stain
of thick, thick
substantial crumbs:
vulgarities engulfing.


But now I am caught
in their hooks of meat,
the dead innards of animals
whose flesh I eat
still rotting in me
where none can see--


but I can feel them,
still taste them,
teeth gnashing.



Payback time is coming.







Poetry by intothehaze
Read 780 times
Written on 2005-08-05 at 17:15

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Teala
Very descriptive! I am trying to change my eating habits for the better...food can be such an enemy!
2005-10-18


Commentally Ill
yum. who's in the mood for some chicken wings?
2005-08-07


F.i.in.e Moods The PoetBay support member heart!
eating disorders are so consuming... the turmoil is so real and you described it really well in your poem here... very vivid expression... i love it... :)

later...xx
2005-08-06


chasingtheday The PoetBay support member heart!
i have in the past stuck my fingers down my throat, after every single meal. not good for you he says stating the obvious :) again, a good piece, descriptive and intense.
2005-08-05


Claire
I made myself vomit at least 5 times a day for about 15 months, I felt embarrassed with the puke splashed off the toilet and hit me back in the face, and so cross if I felt I wasn't bringing enough up, I'm glad I'm not like that anymore - anyway I think your poem is scarily realistic, I can hear and smell it.
2005-08-05