wednesday's child is full of woe

~ nursery rhyme




wednesday

 

~

 

tears on the pillow

is très tragic   but true

it's been a long time   

 

not julie's neglect

not terri's cheatin' heart

left the wee saltwater droplets

 

but i'll do your bidding

for a while

because i cannot not

 

because what you do 

you do so well

but you have a cold heart   marketa

 

i found that out last night 

cold as the moon

 

~





Poetry by one trick pony The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 820 times
Written on 2016-11-17 at 01:34

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cold as the moon
how cold can the moon be? Hmm you've made me wonder
2016-11-25


Kathy Lockhart
things are becoming tighter and tighter...
yet farther and farther...apart


awesome!
2016-11-20


Lawrence Beck The PoetBay support member heart!
I enjoyed this, Pony. It's a straightforward expression of abject need for someone who doesn't deserve it.
2016-11-18


Jamsbo Rockda The PoetBay support member heart!
Beware of cold hearts. They are often immovable. But then again they attract you with their gravitational pull. Poor Wednesday.
2016-11-17


Bibek The PoetBay support member heart!
Well, another fine work. The first three stanzas work as an exposition to the poem's main intention. With fourth, you reach the spark and with fifth you denounce. "Cold as the moon" sounds a bit like a cliche, but then I guess it was the November's Super Moon (or hunter's moon as you say), so that's fine. Also, the nursery rhyme does add some meaning to the poem as you've tried to depict a grim, sad picture. Loved the "wee saltwater droplets". And the repetitive reference of "marketa" in your recent works is something to ponder over. All in all, I found this poem very fine, with its brevity and sudden denouement. And, the unconventional (now not anymore) use of lowercase letters is also apt for your poem. :)

P.S. I am not so good with criticism. Just a kid in his early twenties who's still trying to figure out what "poetry" really is and how it works. :D
2016-11-17



Meeting a cold heart is the biggest sort of heartache. The worst part is how they fool you. It can't be worse than Terri, but then she didn't have a cold heart. Short and painful. Don't believe those nursery rhymes.
Ashe*
2016-11-17