on the boat   out of sight of land

i am a wreck

nerves taut to snapping   scared   to put it plainly

sailing   he had said   is exhilarating   calming

the ultimate pleasure

but one   silly me   i believed him

somewhere to the east is the golden gate bridge

and safe harbor

oh   to be there   snug in my little apartment

marketa grading papers or singing or both

but no

i am wearing a sickly smile

ill-disguising my fear   wondering what will become of me

if capt'n jack were to go over the side

~

capt'n jack   aka   daniel   comes to sooth

sits by my side

this isn't so bad   is it   i swallow hard

it's a fair breeze   but no worries   we're safe

his eyes never stop roving

the horizon   the sails   the luff   he calls it

no   i think   it isn't so bad   we are safe

because he says so

i breath a little easier   my stomach unclenches

i look around    the ocean is in a state of hyper-activity

clouds rolling by

with a mighty weight   a mighty presence

the boat is fair flying   but daniel's demeanor

his being   is reassuring   maybe i can enjoy myself yet

~

i ask if this turmoil is the natural state of things   if blue sky

and calm waters

are the rule or the exception   

think about it lass   he says   would we be here

if the breeze were nil

the waters calm   he has a point   

i relax as much as the bucking boat allows

no   bucking

is the wrong word   the cantering boat

for the boat takes the waves with grace

as effortlessly

as a well trained steeplechaser takes the hedge

i do   though   wish i could see land

but i smile for daniel   and appreciate the sensations

~

later   as the gulls and skyline reappear

i let myself anticipate

another such adventure   this time sans fear

the last hours have done much 

to acquaint me

with the ways and rhythms of the sea and boat  

i understand the allure   at least somewhat

and am ripe for more

having discerned the difference

between baseless fear and caution   and knowing 

new sensations

are often taken to be unpleasant   

that daniel had wanted to share this with me

and has seen me through it   and won me to it   is fine