you're young   says colin's grandfather  

look ahead five years

what do you see   none of us are prescient   

but you can know something of what's ahead   

some things are within your control   

your behavior    your generosity   

your connection to family and friends   then 

there is what is harder to control   

your fear   your sense of loss   your insecurity   

be aware of these two sides of the same coin   

and know whatever hopes

and fears you have   we all have   

my fear is that colin's grandfather may not have five years 

this man that i love so deeply may be gone   

~

and what else may be gone   sunshine   

blue sky   marketa    

these hours with colin's grandfather are our hours   

watching   as we do   another day's end

and he knows how his words 

effect me   you are strong   you can do this   i hear him 

speak the words   does he know me better 

than i know myself   marketa 

and i have to make a decision   we have to make it today   

will we shelter in place in the city   in our apartment   

or here   where it is beautiful   

where we are welcome   where we are loved   

it seems like an easy call   it isn't   what is the value

of sanctity   who are we to impose ourselves upon him   

~

then i remember colin's words

from a year ago   

he needs you   just as you need him   

i know it's true   it isn't me   specifically   

that he needs   it's the need

to love and be loved   to touch and be touched   

if not literally   at least in spirit   there is something

within us that abhors isolation   

yes   i have inner-strength   yes  i can do this   

but do i want to do it alone   does he   this last day

of winter is nearly over   the sky

is showing evening colors   our world is being rocked   

this place brings me peace   colin and marketa join us   

we are a family   i make a decision   i need this man in my life