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March 15, 2021.

self destruction is a traveler

i heard her say that "some people bite their nails,
pick their skin, pull their hair, light a cigarette
some people pray, down a carton of ice cream,
call their friends, lose sleep, and others simply create"

i hated to break it to her but i was doing more than creating
self destruction is a traveler, one carrying luggage so heavy
that every movement deserves a sigh of both relief and frustration
and i have shook that traveler's bloody hand many times

all the grief and hurt i feel right now
can not be written on paper, it can not be performed
and no amount of poems, canvases, and clay
can lighten the load of a traveler or pay a road's toll

but for a moment, i think "someone will see this"
even though the walls around me are crumbling
i can paint a picture that might just linger
and in the rubble, i will mean something

i won't pretend like it doesn't help
introspection can be very powerful
and i have wanted a shoulder to cry on all my life
the closest i've gotten to that is sitting down to write

Poetry by aidan haskel