I visited Shanghai in the late 80s and early 90s. It was a very different city from the world class metropolis it is now. Folks burned soft coal in the houses and there were no street lights or neon signs of any account.&


Shanghai

Shanghai your grit and smoke sours the mouth
From soft coal fires that hide the sun
Your Orange skies at noon that burn the eye
The night Bund dark near the Peace Hotel





Poetry by josephus The PoetBay support member heart!
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Written on 2021-07-19 at 00:40

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F.i.in.e Moods The PoetBay support member heart!
The portrait built in mind with your words here is that the place was mostly dark, smoky and dusty. And in the light, the reference to "orange skies at noon that burn the eye", makes it feel like there's a screen obstructing free air and trapping the intense heat of the sun. "The grit and smoke sours the tongue" makes me think that the smell in the air mustn't have been all too great either to affect your mouth's taste :/ A vibrant description making the place come alive. Enjoyed that very much, thanks.
2021-07-19


Michael R. Burch
I like your imagery here. In a few short lines you give us not only picture of Shanghai but a "vibe" or feel as well. I will message you some other observations on the chance you might find them of interest.
2021-07-19