life lesson number seventeen hundred and forty-four

steadfastness will take you to the ledge

lesson number . . . forty-five

jump

~

lin and i have dived deep

jumped in

gone in circles   come up for air   getting there   word by word

going back to day one   white bird

line by line

the backstory   her history   mine

where she fits in   the reality is there has been a shift

the dynamic has changed   

 we grew complacent   settling for the least happiness   

hint of happiness

where we go from here   we shall see

my oh my   flame red hair   another hint

what was isn't 

~

what i hear   at first

seems to be an admonishment

i am not used to her voice

her cadence and inflections

not an admonish

something closer to impatience

mindfulness   only this moment

these words infuriate her   

what is it   i ask   nothingness   she says cryptically

in time i come to understand   and understand her

there is no doubting her

she has something   a center that is unfailing   

i mean   just look at her

and i do

~

we seem to be approaching a midpoint

where

the give and take

comes out about equal   her fury

moderates

my guilt moderates

mutual coexistence