Just something I wrote a while back, thoughts about life...


Running, swimming or jumping?

I feel like running away,
jumping down these cliffs,
never to walk again
never to talk again...

How could I be so happy,
just to find I was a fool
for believing people?

I want to swim away,
just run into the ocean
& start swimming,
never to look back
never to wonder where
they are...

I won't be able to run
away,
I'm not that fit,
I won't be able to swim
away,
I don't swim that well!

Jumping off these cliffs,
that's an option...
I could stretch my arms
& fall...

Never to have nightmares
again,
never cry again,
never be sad anymore...

Just if I could take this step....



Poetry by Surei
Read 827 times
Written on 2005-10-03 at 14:05

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AZ
On a poetic side i like the flow of topics, on the literature side, i could see more thought into the words, to pull the full meaning out and yet still deliver being blunt.
2005-10-12


Ray
Very powerful message. Just write it how you feel it at the time you were inspired! I love poetry at its true nature. It is what makes a poet a true poet. Keep it up!
2005-10-03


John Ashleigh The PoetBay support member heart!
Depressing, but very common at the same time, as if you're speaking your thoughts to us and throwing the point straight across, I like that.

The structure, I think, need a little more work on it, and words are repeated several times....that's not good either. Other than that, it's a powerfull and depressing message.
2005-10-03