Wrote it a couple of years back, I really speak my mind....


Life's a bitch...but I'm worse

I don't know why I do
what I do
I don't understand myself
too good
but I do try to be honest
about my feelings
when I can
& when it's necessary...

So I make rude comments,
but it's my way
of putting people off

I build these barriers,
I try hard to make people dislike me...
so far so good!
I think there's at least 50 people
who actually hate me!

So this whole "us" thing...
I know how I feel
but I'm not sure how you feel
sometimes I know,
the rest of the time
I believe you hate my guts...

Sorry for being so crude,
but I don't know how else to do it
I do hurt you
and honestly I don't know why
& I don't understand what I can
possibly gain out of it!

I enjoy laughing, but maybe I should stop
start growing up,
become a grown-up,
be serious?

I'm not sure about most things,
'cause I'm scared of what I
might discover about myself.
Sometimes I try to hide behind a mask,
most of the times I do succeed
I'm scared of what you're gonna say
'cause I don't know what it is...

I think that I'm causing too much stress
you need to study & there I am
always miscalling or sending you sms's...
so I propably need to say sorry!

I know I'm a real jerk,
& I know I tend to make people's lifes
difficult,
but I don't mean to do it....

I could go on like this,
trying to persuade you,
trying to change things

But I don't even know what you feel
so I'll just stop here!



Poetry by Surei
Read 837 times
Written on 2005-10-03 at 17:09

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AZ
I felt this way for a while. Maybe not to the extent but effects on people are different, anyway, i coped with hurting myself through physical endurance....
2005-10-12