This is my most recently written poem. it is still in the experimental stage. Please let me have yout +/- thoughts/comments.

Thanks


Express Myself

I find it hard
To say the words
That I want greatly
To be heard

So I write it down
And I make it rhyme
Sometimes it takes a lot of time

Then when its written, its so clear.
It says the things you ought to hear.

But when I read it out to you, it makes no sense, you have no clue!

Cos what I write are thoughts inside
The thoughts I try so hard to hide

And when they're written you cant see
The thoughts that they're supposed to be!

So now I'm back to old 'Square One', with thoughts all changed or simply gone!
And again I find it hard to say, the thoughts that just wont go away!

So now you see my cruel frustrations
You see why I have reservations

For I find it hard
To say the words
That I want greatly
To be heard!




Poetry by kimmy
Read 252 times
Written on 2007-01-12 at 15:37

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Rob Graber
This is quite good, kimmy; it deserves some polishing in terms of line breaks. In the very nice first and final stanzas, there are two "beats," or stresses, per line. Then, in line 7, you introduce longer lines. Unless you have a special reason, why not either stick with the two-beat pattern throughout? Or, you might consider four-beat lines throughout? Just a thought...
2007-01-13


salem
yes i agree u
thanx
2007-01-12