Poetry is not something that I have any theoretical knowledge of. For me it has stemed from songwriting as a great way to express my inner feelings. Any feedback would be appreciated to help be nurse my poetical adolescence!


Waiting for you

Cold grey day with nothing to do
killing time waiting for you
walking, walking up down all around
rest on a bench looking out at the sound

'please, no rain!' I gaze upward in protest
black clouds looming, il just hope for the best
Abnoxious car stereo disturbing the peace
single crow looks down from a perch in the trees

The cold creeps around me sat waiting for her
thoughts turn to the pub but they'd call me a waster
warmth, comfort, music and a drink
but no I worry to much about what people think

Stuff them I'm going, I've had enough
time for a drink time to get tough
that's what you'll tell we when you arrive
you wont believe I stayed outside all that time
you'll say,'why didn't you go in, it would have been fine!'
but you know self belief is no strong point of mine.

So I've made it inside and no-one says a word
as usual my anxious worrying was absurd
it's lovely in here, my cold hands start to thaw,
looking out through frosted glass at the grey of before

I hope you join me soon in this place of rest
because solitude I enjoy,
but my dear, your company i love best




Poetry by Chris Mitchell
Read 684 times
star mini Editors' choice
Written on 2007-02-08 at 11:47

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Rob Graber
In energy and phrasing, very promising! I find the meter rough though.
2007-02-08


Mitzi
Welcome to the bay Chris!!! wonderful poem by the way!...keep up the wonderful work!!!
*hugs*
Mitzi
2007-02-08


kath
excuse me for bing tedious, but I actually meant to say "rhytm" ..or the flow of a read ... rhyme is something that is a subtle thing ... sometimes beautiful sometimes misplaced ...

well now I am done :)... Thank you
kath
2007-02-08


kath
and .. welcome to the poet bay....

regards kath
2007-02-08


kath
I really loved this poem and it could have been sung as well ...and actually to me it is the rhym, the meaning , the pictures created as you read that are poetry to me...

In your word I sense all of these things
very well done.
And I pictured the cold hands a bench in a park,the waiting for somenone you love ...

best wishes
kath
2007-02-08