You inspired me

Isn't it funny how it's only just now
That I finally realise what it is you're all about
All the arguments and fights looking back show me how
It's all been a plan to facilitate your big out

Like a great escape artist till the last in distress
Always seeming as if they will never break free
It's an illusion, a fraud, a trick nothing less
But the true accomplishment by the trickster is that it takes so long to see

You told me what you wanted but it could never be believed
Tried to constantly imply that we had two differing goals
The vision you had with me it could never be achieved
Because in the end I realised all you really wanted was control

Through thick and through thin I persevered with you
Through the ups and the downs all the turbulent winds
Even though I kind of realised you needed someone who
Would repent to you even though they'd committed no sins

When I first met you I felt as if I'd just discovered life
Allowed myself to dream of the things that could be
Envisaged days with our kids and with you as my wife
Momentarily cast off my chains and allowed myself free

It became the more we were apart the emptier I felt
Suffered withdrawal symptoms when I was lacking your touch
For once in my life felt a good hand I'd been dealt
But it came to transpire that I taken for granted too much

For the fact I adored you just wasn't enough
You needed me to be another person that I wasn't
Those seas that were smooth suddenly became rough
And at that moment our relationship became different

You say I never showed you enough but in fact I showed you too much
If you'd recognized my feelings, you'd probably have had me forever
But you were too wrapped up in yourself to notice how I felt and as such
You missed out on what I had give through your own lack of endeavour

All I ever wanted from you was to love me for me
Not to wish I was me except with a bigger bank balance
All I ever wanted from you was to see me for me
Not as someone whose using you as some minor dalliance


And the more that you doubted me, the more rejection I felt
The harder it became for me to open up to you
Made my frozen heart resolute and adamant it wouldn't melt
And the worst thing about it is I don't think you had a clue

You very rarely offered stability based on which I could feel safe
To re-ignite my dreams of that perfect life we could of had together
Feelings I first had for you were immense, what a waste
Your words told me we could work but your actions told me never

It's sad when someone you trust keeps on betraying your belief
That you can rely on them even though you may sometimes displease them
But in a sense I suppose it comes as some kind of relief
That you can once again go back to trusting in your own belief system

This isn't about attributing blame or finding who's at fault
One thing that I know myself to be, is unflinchingly honest and fair
My affection, love and respect, with money cannot be bought
But despite what you needlessly, endlessly repeated, I know I really did care




Poetry by lifescholar
Read 480 times
Written on 2007-11-26 at 14:46

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