Exerpt from my book.
"What the puck?" Puck exclaimed.
"Is he high?" It asked.
"Unfortunately, no." Diedim answered, watching with amusement. "I believe he actually thinks he is preforming."
"He's not high." Matt assured. "I checked his room this morning." Matt crossed his arms in front of his chest.
The three stood at the doorway of the kitchen watching Tweed dirty dance around the kitchen, using the mop that he was supposed to be cleaning the floor with as a partner. His headphones were so loud, the music was almost clearly audible to Diedim, Matt, Puck, and It, who stood across the room from him. Tweed flipped the mop up, spewing droplets of solution and cleaning chemical across the floor, and ran his fingers through the threads of the mop as though is was a woman's hair.
"He's gone crazy! Do ya want me to shoot him?" Gunner asked with hopefulness as he appeared on the stairwell and catching Tweed with the scope of his —16.
"No!" Matt, Diedim, It, and Puck shouted.
"No!" Puck added, "I think he's kind of cute."
It smacked him. "You sick Bastard!"
Puck glared at It and shot back, "Thank you, basshole, Freak!" and then he attacked It.
Matt pulled them apart while Gunner repositioned his sniper scope. "Matt, outta da way! I'll get 'em both with one bullet!"
Between the two, Matt glared up at Gunner. "Put it away before it finds another home between your ass cheeks!"
Diedim laughed at the four of them.
"Diedim! Help me! Don't just stand there!" Matt hissed, trying desperately to keep the clone and the accused molester from seriously hurting one another.
"Oh, no, Matthew. It is far more amusing to watch you struggle."
Matt glowered back at Diedim. "You know, you back on Death Row is soundin' ha! ha! funny to me right now!" He shouted back to the convicted assassin between struggling to keep It and Puck apart.
Diedim thought on this for a moment before grabbing It and pulling him back.
It then started to fight Diedim and Matt continued to wrestle with Puck, who was cursing both Matt and It with his obscure form of swearing.
Gunner returns with a .9mm handgun and points it around threateningly.
Matt glared at Gunner. "Put the damn gun away!"
"I'm just trying to he-"
"...my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, Hun!"
Everyone stopped and stared in Tweed's direction.
"What the puck?"
"Yea, that was pretty freakin' scary." Matt agreed, then released Puck, moved up behind Tweed, grabbed his shoulders, shook him violently, and screamed, "Tweed!" above the noise of the headphones.
Tweed jumped and, acting on instinct, threw a potentially lethal blow in Matt's direction.
Matt averted the blow and was in position to defend himself only long enough for the reformed druggie and hitman to recognize him.
Tweed ripped the headphones away from his ears and shouted to match the volume of the music he was just listening to. "Don't do that! You're gonna get your ass whooped one of these days by doin that!"
Matt sneered. "That right?"
Tweed nodded affirmatively. "Yes! You can't block everything! There's some blows ya just don't see coming!"
Chapter 1
"Another one? Dude you're killing me!" Matt exclaimed, banging his fist down on the desk. "I can't do this to the guys! No! Not now! They just got settled."
"The guys?" Captain Sheaves spat as though the term was a sacrilege of the most perverted kind. "You do realize, Detective, that these people are part of your job and not some Friday night beer buddies?"
Matt stood up to match his Captain's height. "Sir, I have three guns for hire, a molester, a pathological liar, and a clone of a dead mad scientist living in my house! I am all to aware that this is my job!"
"Don't take that tone of voice with me!" Captain Sheaves shot back, vexed.
"I can take any tone I damn-well please, because like it or not, I am the only one in this department who can run this little experiment you have going here! It's working! Why add more variables? They just got comfortable with Puck and he just got settled. Throw in another wacko and everything will be thrown off balance!"
"It has been eight months! Can't you train them in that period of time? They should be used to..."
"Train them?" Matt spat. "Since when was my house a pound? You cannot train them to be good! You have to set rules and they need time to adjust. These are very mistrusting people! They hold grudges for a very long time and the people they fear-man, I don't know what you did, but Puck shits bricks every time your name is even mentioned- but..."
"And they should all do the same when they hear yours!" Captain Sheaves exclaimed.
"My home is a reform, not a prison."
Captain Sheaves sighed deeply and tightened his lips together tightly, trying to regain his authority. "You will get your new 'variable' in forty-eight hours. You cannot refuse."
"I can. I won't put these guys through the hassle of a new tenant again this soon. They aren't ready."
"You must take him, Detective He will be assigned to you early Friday morning."
Matt glowered at his superior, who had stiffened his posture for effect as he made his way around to the back of his desk. Matt knew Captain Sheaves throughly enjoyed the fact that his orders were to be followed, almost blindly at times. Which was why Matt despised a lot of authority over him. Yes, Matt had seniority over people in the department, but he tried not to act like it. He hardly knew who was under him. He treated them all the same.
"So, what am I gettin'?" Matt asked with some amount of disdain. "The Penguin? Lex Luther? Want me to reform an alien that showed up in the Bregmata Triangle? That should be a challenge." He spat sarcastically.
Captain Sheaves smiled at Matt's ultimate subordination. "He's a schizophrenic patent who's different personalities include Dracula, Frankenstein, a ghost, a werewolf, and Abbot and Costello." Captain Sheaves' smile grew.
"Bud Abbot?-Was the last one a joke?"
Captain Sheaves shook his head. "No. He does a great 'Who's on First' bit."
"Oh, good! Comic relief!" Matt spat condescendingly. "Tweed and Gunner are going to have a run for their money."
"Tweed? Gunner?" Matt's superior chalked an eyebrow.
"They have nicknames. It's easier for me. It brings them out of their comfort zone a little, and plus, they like it 'cause they get to pick it. Whatever word best describes them."
"Tweed?"
"The hit man.-Don't know where he got it, but fits him perfectly."
"Oh, and...Gunner?"
"Sniper."
"What was it? Puck?"
"Yea. A molester. Diedim is the assassin, It is the clone, and Trusty is..."
"Let me guess, the lair?"
Matt shrugged. "I told you they got to pick their own."
"O-k...Anyway, your Schizophrenic buddy will be here first thing Friday morning. Tell 'the guys'."
Reluctantly, and trying his best to ignore the snide, condescending nature of Captain Sheaves' voice, Matt nodded. "Fine, but no more for a while."
That night, after dinner, Matt seated all of his tenants at the dinner table after the meal and claimed that they needed to have a discussion. This was frequent enough. Matt tried to keep an open communication between the guys. Anyone could call a meeting any night and voice whatever they need to. In the past, arguments, threats, resolves, and complements was exchanged at these meetings. Matt tried not to step between gripes the tenants had amongst themselves and he welcomed any argument or bitch they had against him. Likewise, Matt would tell them if he had a problem with any of them and when he did, he expected to settle it.
As soon as they were all seated, Gunner's hand shot up.
"Uh...yes...Gunner?" Matt said, surprised by the sudden school-like atmosphere.
"Does this meeting have anything to do with the clog in the upstairs bathroom or the overflowing of said bathroom?"
Matt's eyes narrowed and he tilted his head. "Not yet. Why?"
"Uh...Oh! Good! Uh, no reason. No reason at all."
"Gunner..." Matt droned condescendingly.
"It wanted to know!" He answered quickly.
"No I didn't!" It spat defensively.
Matt shook his head. "As long as it's cleaned up and fixed, I don't want to know. Trusty," Matt focused his attention on the old man after catching him out of the corner of his eye. "Did you take you take your meds?" Trusty had a beard that was as long, curly, and white as the hair on his head, which tumbled down to about shoulder-length. He was eighty and almost toothless, but sharp as a tack and otherwise healthy as a horse, now sat with the front end of his chair kicked up and rocking it with his heels.
"Nope." Trusty answered, smiling.
"Good, glad you remembered." Matt answered, smiling slightly. He then set his focus broadly, catching all of the tenants in his sight, preparing to deliver the news he was sure they would hate hearing. "Uh, guys, I know you just got comfortable with Puck and I hate to do this to you, but the department is insisting that we bring another person into this house. We have enough room, so we really don't have much of an argument."
"But we don't want him." Tweed replied gruffly and bluntly, crossing his arms and chewing vigorously on a piece of sperimint gum, squashed between his molars.
"Well, we really don't have a choice." Matt answered levelly. "And I'm sorry for that."
"It is not your fault, Matthew. Your superiors are ignorant to the situation and are unaware of your-all of our struggles."
Matt looked to the assassin. "Thank you, Diedim."
"I could shoot him!" Gunner offered in his usual hopeful voice.
"No!" Matt retorted quickly.
"Damn." Gunner muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Do you have a picture?" Puck asked, exceeding Gunner's initial enthusiasm.
Matt ignored the question and tried very hard not to hear his tone. "So, our new tenant is schizophrenic, when he arrives, on Friday morning, he will either think he is Dracula, a werewolf, Casper, or Bud Abbot and Lee Costello. Any questions?"
All of them, with the exception of Diedim, shot questions at once, each shouting over everyone else.
Matt slammed a closed fist on the table making the wood quiver. "Shut up!"
The room fell into silence.
"Okay." Matt sighed. "So, you all can have a chance to speak. Tweed? You have something?"
"What's a skitofendera."
"Multiple personalities."
"Oh, so do we have to get used to more then one person?" It asked with obvious disgust.
"That's confusing!" This from Gunner.
"I know. But be good." Matt replied. "It won't be that bad."
"Yea, Guys. Vampires are interesting!" Puck added, his enthusiasm to meet the new tenant was glowing, and uninspiring to the others. "Puck, I might get used to someone with split personalities pretty quick. They might be fun."
"We don't want to scare him!" Matt snapped.
"I'll go slow."
"Weirdo!" It hissed.
"Freak!" Puck shot back.
"I may be a test-tube baby, but at least I'm sure of my gender!" It retorted.
"Ohhhhh!" Said Gunner.
"Burn!" Added Tweed.
"Puck you all!" Puck hissed.
"I bet you will." It spat.
Puck reared back as though It had socked him in the jaw. "What the puck?"
"Well, you can't decide and you think Tweed is cute!" It turned to Tweed, who was angered at being brought into the spat. "Has he tried any of his moves on you yet?"
Tweed did not hear It. He had his eyes fixed in Puck, glaring at him with revulsion. "You think I'm cute?"
Puck averted his eyes from Tweed's glower and ran his fingers across the curve of the tabletop. "Uh...well...not at the moment..." Puck answered.
"You're a damn liar!" Tweed accused.
Puck lowered his head and his teeth started to chatter, a nervous habit dating back to from, what Matt guessed, childhood.
Tweed was utterly revolted. "You do! Don't you! Right now! You think I'm cute!" Tweed shook his head and got to his feet. "Excuse me. I have a date." Tweed glared at Puck and spoke harshly. "With a girl!" Tweed turned to Matt, who was observing the scene patently. "I'm gonna go meet Angelica at the bar."
Matt nodded. "You know the rules. Two drinks, no drugs, and be back here before you go to work."
"Okay." Tweed nodded shortly and waved a general goodbye, purposely avoiding Puck.
As soon as Tweed left the room, Puck sobbed. "What the puck? I ain't never done a puckin' thing to 'em! I never touched 'em!"
"Yea, but it's still weird!" It replied flippantly.
"But...why?" Puck asked, sniffing up a running nose and swiping away tears.
"Because...he does not have the same preference-or there lack of-that you do...You are attracted to anyone of any age. That is a tad disturbing to Tweed.-Especially because you have your eye on him." Diedim said, seriously connecting his eyes with Puck's.
"But...I just think he's cute...I don't really like him...I like people a little younger, but..." Puck's voice willingly trailed off there.
It turned to Matt. "Uh, yea...why do I have to be on that ice-cream truck alone with him again?"
"Because no one else can." Matt answered briskly.
"Oh, well, he enjoys that truck just a little to much I think."
"I'm still recovering." Puck shouted at It. "I can look."
Matt stiffly shook his head. "No. No, you can't."
Puck shot his eyes over to Matt. "Why?" He demanded in a bitter, almost hurt tone.
Matt blinked slowly and then held a soft, but firm stare to Puck's eyes.
"I can't help it!" Puck suddenly exploded, then cowered, realizing who he had just raised his voice against. "Sorry." He muttered, his teeth starting to chatter again as he nervously ran his tongue across his bottom lip.
"No. Don't be sorry. You can't be sorry if...you can't help it at all?"
Puck shook his head vigorously.
"Well, what do you suppose you could do to help it?-'Cause one way or another, you've got to help it."
Puck shrugged. "I don't know."
"You need a relationship..." Matt said, only half directing the comment to Puck.
"With who?"
"I don't know! Someone your own age!"
"Sixteen work?"
"Absolutely not."
"Seventeen?"
"At least twenty. That's as old as Tweed."
"He's that old?"
"Yes."
"Oh...If Tweed is that old...I guess I could do that."
"Good boy. One willing person at a time, though, okay?"
"Okay."
"And talk to Tweed."
"Tweed won't talk to me."
"Well, either he'll get over it or die pissed off, but you have to talk to him-or try. Okay."
"I'll try, but if I die as a result... You're out of the will."
"You don't have a will. You're twenty-nine years old."
"Yea, well, just know if I had one, and it had to be pulled as a result of talking to Tweed, you wouldn't get the last dump I took in the toilet this morning."
"Yes I would, if I really wanted it. We have a sub-tank." Matt smiled.
"You get the puckin point!"
Matt nodded. "I do, so, you're free to go. Just check in before work tomorrow." Upon concluding the conversation, Matt turned to It. "You got plans?"
It smiled. "Oh, yea! I meant to ask you about that!"
"What?"
"Uh...can I get a ride to the movies?"
"Why and with whom?"
"To watch a movie with...someone."
"Who?" Matt interrogated.
"Vicky..." It squirmed, awaiting the verdict, which was set in stone long before it was ever spoken.
"Quicky-Vicky? Hell no."
"Please? Please! Don't you remember being young?"
"Yes, but you have a much higher IQ and can think of a lot more to do then I ever could at your age...or now for that matter!"
It glared at Matt. "This is because I'm a test tube baby, isn't it?"
Appalled, Matt reared back. "What?-No! It's because you're fifteen and asking to go on a date with the school slut!"
"And?"
"And no!"
"Oh, puck! Puck! Oh puck!"
'Whack!'
Tweed shut his eyes and breathed deeply. He had three choices. One, he could continue to eat his dinner and let whoever it was have at Puck, he could join in, by all means, he deserved at least one free whack, or he could...
Tweed heard Puck smash against a table and the sound of glass shattering followed promptly.
"Damn him to hell!" Tweed muttered as he got to his feet.
"What's wrong?" Asked Angelica, a comely Latino woman who loved sex just about as much as Tweed did.
"I'll be right back." Tweed turned and ran the other side of the bar.
Grabbing the guy bu the back of his shirt collar, Tweed yanked him off of Puck and threw a punch to the man's gut.
Pushing the gasping guy aside, he glared at Puck. "Did you try to hit on him?"
Puck shook his head vigorously. "No." He pointed behind Tweed. "I hit on her."
Tweed turned just in time to see a woman coming at him. Tweed did not see any more of her but her gender before she attacked him, digging her nails into the side of Tweed's face.
Tweed soon realized that the girl had very long, sharp nails.
No sooner did the nails dig into Tweed's skin was the girl, whom the nail's belonged to, ripped off of him with a scream.
Angelica was now in the ring with Puck's psycho crush and was doing very well, screaming at her in Spanish and throwing very passionate blows at her.
Tweed stopped and smiled, enjoying the sight of Angela fighting for him. However, within his disarming moment, he was yanked back and was forced to take a blow to the nose.
Tweed cursed Puck as he continued to fight Puck's crush's boyfriend through watering eyes.
Puck got up and tried to help Tweed, but just because he can hold his own against It did not by any means imply he could hold his own.
"Detective Rodriguez." Matt answered the phone irritated by the thought of work.
"Get your ass down to Billy's Pub!"
"What'd he do?" Matt groaned, knowing that the bar was Tweed's favorite hang-outs. "A fight." Captain Sheaves spat. "Two a your boys started it, or that's what I'm being told."
"I'll be right there." Matt snapped his phone shut before muttering, "Shit!"
"What the hell were you thinking?" Matt yelled, stomping toward the two tenants, glaring at them both and feeling absolutely no pity for Puck's bleeding mouth or Tweed's clawed cheek, bleeding nose, and gouged eye. "Pull something like this in public!" Matt scoffed. "What were you thinking?"
"Uh, Matt?" Tweed tried cautiously.
"Don't interrupt me! If you were gonna fight, you should have done it at home! Were you drunk?"
"Uh, Matt?"
"I told you not to interrupt me! Tweed! How could you do something like this?"
Tweed shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.
Both Tweed and Puck exchanged glances, shrugged, and then looked to the ground.
Blinded by anger, their aloof comfort with one another alluded Matt's notice. "Would you two look at me? What were you thinking?" Matt lowered his voice so only the three of them could hear him. "You know people don't look at you rightfully! You know damn-well they think you're a criminal! When you act like this you are proving to them that they are right! They're not right! You're not criminals anymore! You are men, right?"
"Men help their friends not get the bit beat out of them." Puck said quietly. "We didn't start anything. We weren't fighting each other."
"What?" Matt spat, now attentive.
Puck backed away, afraid of Matt's tone.
So, Tweed took over, matching Matt's gruff tone. "The little fag is telling the truth! I didn't start anything and neither did he.-Throw any punches anyway. Puck tried to pick up a taken chick and her boyfriend was none-to happy. The dude started a fight and I jumped in-well, because you and I both know Puck can't fight worth a damn!" Tweed angrily crossed his arms.
"So...you didn't..." Matt was very confused. He was just told by his superior, a woman with very long nails, and a man with a broken nose and quite possibly rib that the two had initiates the fight.
Puck and Tweed both gave him honest and sincere looks while Puck shook his head and Tweed hissed coldly, "No. We didn't." Tweed nodded his head off in the direction of the couple. "They did. I didn't even know he was here until right before he got hit. The weird cursing thing, ya know. The only reason I jumped in was 'cause I know you'd give me hell if I let him die."
"Thanks." Both Matt and Puck said in chorus, however, Matt's voice was a lot more sarcastic then Puck's.
Matt turned. "Excuse me a second, Guys." Matt stomped over to Captain Sheaves. "Sheaves, what the hell? You told me something that wasn't true!"
Captain Sheaves looked back toward Matt. "I beg your pardon?"
"You told me that my guys initiated the fight. They didn't. Your witness over there is trying to cover his ass."
"What? How do you know that?" Captain Sheaves demanded, using his athouaitive voice.
"Because I talked to my guys. I got the whole sad little story. Apparently macho over there attacked Puck when he tried to hit on his girlfriend. All it was, was a simple fit of jealousy. Tweed heard Puck yell and jumped in to help him because he knew I would kill him myself if he didn't do anything."
The Captain almost laughed. "And you believe them?"
"More then I believe the bull you, Macho and Medusa fed me a minute ago. Have you seen the nails on that girl?"
"But they are criminals..."
"No. Were criminals."
Captain Sheaves sighed. "Fine, but they can still lie to you."
"No. They can't. Not these two. Diedim, and well, Trusty always lies, but Puck starts to twitch, it eats at Tweed's conscience, and Gunner and It just aren't very good at it to begin with."
Captain Sheaves started at Matt for a long moment. "Matt, those criminals are screwing with your head. They can all lie. How do you think they got to be criminals?"
"I could be a criminal and I'm a lousy lair! I know they were telling me the truth! What I want to know is why, just because of their past, you automatically blame them?"
"Well, the witnesses..."
"Are not going to own up to starting a bar-room brawl when there are two scapegoats that couldn't have looked anymore guilty." Matt shook his head. "See you tomorrow." Turning roughly, he spat, "Tweed, Puck, get in my car!"
"But...we need to bring them..."
"No!" Matt followed the two tenants to the car.
The ride back to the house was silent until the very end.
"Uh, Tweed?" Puck initiated the conversation cautiously.
"What?" Tweed asked.
"Are you still mad at me?"
"Yup."
Not getting the answer he wanted, his next comment came after a hesitation, "But...since you helped me..."
Tweed glared at Puck. "What makes you so sure I didn't stop that guy from killing you just so I wouldn't loose the chance?"
Puck backed up against the window. "But! Bammit! I can't help it! I don't want you to be mad at me!"
Tweed started to laugh.
Both Puck and Matt were lost to Tweed's sense of humor.
"What the puck?"
"It's okay. I'm not really mad anymore. I'm just screwin-I mean messin-I mean-you know what I mean! You're just fun to piss off and scare. Just, don't be so vocal about it. Really, I understand how you can't resist this," Tweed conceitedly flexed his muscles, but I do have a reputation with the ladies to uphold."
Puck nodded. "I understand."
"Why don't I help you get a date? Help you take your focus off me."
"Okay. As long as it doesn't get me punched again."
"Well, that was because you were screwin with another guy's property. Your best bet is to go with someone single, but, if you must try to snag someone taken, make sure the significant other isn't in the same room. That was really stupid on your part."
"Yes, Tweed. I know."
Chapter 2
"Hi. My name is Angelica. Is Tweed there?"
Between opening the door and turning to get the finally comprehended person, he was contemplating how the hell someone that hot could be standing on his porch. As he realized who she was looking for, he understood.
"Tweed?" Matt screamed, before realizing he was right behind him, "Uh, your uh...someone is here to see you."
"Thanks." Tweed answered simply, more concerned with Angelica then the presence of Matt. "Hey, Babe." Tweed growled with suggestion as he passed Matt, embraced Angelica, and engulfed her in a deep, passionate, intense kiss with one suave motion.
Neither Tweed nor Angelica seemed to care or even notice that Matt was still standing in the door, watching them.
Matt felt his cheeks get hot and redden, like he was caught in the middle of a mischievous act. Matt ducked behind the door in an embarrassed fashion and closed it, leaving the couple alone and hoping no one that could cause Matt grief for the show saw them. If Captain Sheaves saw the couple, it would be Matt that would be screwed.
"Okay, tonight, I am taking the night off." Matt exclaimed at the dinner table. "The schizophrenic is coming tomorrow, so I've got a lot of work ahead of me in the morning. Before that, though, I need to clear my head, so if any of you even think of getting into trouble, I swear, I will kick your ass from here to Kingdom Come."
Gunner, who ironically had a very strong Christian upbringing, raised his hand.
"What, Gunner?"
"You may not be able to do that."
"Why not? Wanna test me?" Matt spat pugnaciously.
Gunner held up his hands disarmingly. "No. No. It's just that none of us would be able to get within one-hundred yards of Kingdom Come."
Matt narrowed his eyes. "You would if I was kickin' ya!" Matt sneered and Gunner stopped being smart, fearing the threat might be valid.
Matt smiled at the rest of them and said cheerfully, "Okay? Well, you're free to go."
"Hey, Cop! You look like you had a rough day. Would you like me to buy you a drink?" Percilla, the bar tender asked, eyeing Matt as he walked in.
Percilla was a heavy-set woman, with curly auburn hair that was tied up in a bun and she had light, cheery green eyes. She had a big, but pretty face. If she wore her hair a little less severely and something more then spandex pants and t-shirts that would make Matt look like a kid in his father's clothes, she could be a relatively attractive woman, but as she looked now, he found the stool that he now strattled between his legs more attractive, but she was still nice.
"Uh, yea. Thanks."
"The regular?"
"Yea, but extra rum."
"That bad?"
Matt did not have to answer. His eyes did all the talking necessary.
As Percilla walked away, Matt fell into his own head.
Upon returning with Matt's rum and coke, extra rum, Percilla asked, "So, what's wrong? Your experiments goin' alright?"
"Yea. I mean...I think it's going alright."
"You think?"
"Yea, I don't know. I'm getting another guy tomorrow. A schizophrenic."
"Oh, fun!"
"Yea."
Matt's sardonic tone didn't bother Percilla, but she couldn't let it slip either. "You sound thrilled."
"Well, it's not really me. It's the guys that I'm worried about. I can handle it, but..."
"So, you're afraid of adding another variable?"
"I'm not afraid. I just don't think it's fair."
"Then, just say no."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"It's my boss! I can't just say, 'I refuse to do it.'"
"Tell him you fear for your life."
"I can't do that, Percilla."
Percilla shot Matt a sideways glance. "Damn men and their pride." She huffed. "You know how I feel about this whole thing."
"Then, why do you ask?"
"Knowing is better then wondering." She spoke honestly. "It's just...I don't want this thing to come back and bite you in the ass."
"If it did, then at least I would feel it." Matt hissed.
"What do you mean by that?" She asked, tilting her head and leaning in toward him, thinking that it was more of a private confession and heart wrenching story then it really was.
Matt shrugged. "It's just that I don't know what everyone wants. I just don't know if people want this thing to fail, or succeed, or...or what..." Matt shrugged again.
Something in Matt's voice must have communicated that he was through talking to her about it, because Percilla shrugged and said, "I don't know, Matt. I hope you succeed, for you, but...I also want it to end before it hurts you. You're a good cop and an even better person. To women and to friends, even to your guys, that's a great thing, but to others..." She sighed and turned to tend to waiting customers.
Therefore, Matt continued to sip his rum and coke, unaware of the beautiful woman watching him until she came over to him, sat on the stool next to him, and ran a long, delicate hand across his back. "Hey, Cop, what would you do if I told you I've been a bad girl? Would you arrest me?"
As Matt's eyes wavered over to her, Matt almost dropped his drink. "Uh... prolly..." His speech impairment had nothing to do with the adult beverage in his hand.
"What's your name?"
"Uh...Matt..."
"Matt...I like that name." Her voice held a sharpness and at the same time a tenderness that, if she were to have said 'I eat my own fecies he would have found it as erotic as hell.
The way she spoke aroused him to the point of discomfort.
Matt shifted on his stool.
"My name is Morey."
"Hi, Morey. Can I buy you a drink?"
"Well, Matt, I wouldn't want to impose...Officer."
Damn, my position in the beuro never sounded so good! Matt thought, shifting on his stool again. "Not at all. What would you like?"
"Whatever you're having."
Matt quickly ordered two rum and cokes.
As Percilla set the drinks down, she shot him a look of warning that stated plainly, Don't take her home.
Matt was unsure of why his friend was acting so odd, but he quickly dismissed it.
Although Matt did not remember the rest of that night all that well, he was pretty sure that he had heeded Percilla's warning, although the reason he did not take her home was simply for the simple reason that she had not initiates it. If she had, he would not have declined, however, since she didn't say anything about it, Matt simply settled for a few more drinks, later a cup of coffee, and a very invigorating kiss to which, might have even given Tweed's actions with Angelica a run for his money.
When Matt returned home, he was very drunk and really thirsty. Matt stumbled to the kitchen, opened a cabinet, the microwave, and the oven before finding the refrigerator door, and grabbed a bottle of something. It may have been water, which was what Matt's intoxicated mind was searching for, or beer, or grape-juice, or the weird solution Trusty drinks every morning, claiming it to be really good for aches and pains, which means he just likes the taste. In any case, he did not taste the drink, but remembers a lot of laughing while he was searching for and drinking whatever it was.
Afterwards, Matt staggered back to his bedroom and passed out on his bed.
"Matt, did you see..." It was cut off by both Matt and Morey sitting up in the bed. It's eyes widened. "Oh...I expect this from Tweed, but not you!-" It moved to close the door as Matt looked, dumbfounded at Morey, but then opened the other door again. Disgusted, he demanded, "You're dating my English teacher?"
"Uh...you know what? I like to think of it as socially seeing-you're English teacher?" Matt exchanged a glance between Morey and It.
Morey waved sheepishly. "Hi, It."
It shook his head and moved to walk out of the room.
"It! Wait! Come here! We didn't do anything!" Matt glanced over at Morey. "Did we?"
Morey shrugged and bit her lip. "I don't know."
"Right."
It sighed and closed the door.
"Crap." Matt stated and then looked back to Morey. "Uh, so you want some coffee?"
"Please."
"Okay. Uh, look, I know this will sound pretty stupid, but I usually never..."
"Me neither! I talk, but I never ever..."
They looked at each other and just started to laugh. What else could they do?
Okay... Matt thought. I guess I did take her home last night. Oops!
Chapter 3:
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created it."-Albert Einstein
When Matt walked into his office an hour later, Captain Sheaves and his new tenant were waiting for him.
Matt was surprised to see them for a moment, for, within all of the excitement, his drinking had caused, he had forgotten entirely his reason for hitting the bottle to begin with.
"Oh, hello!" Matt said when he was able to gaze passed his blaring headache to see and recognize the two men in front of him. "Uh, sorry I'm late. Rough morning."
However, Captain Sheaves was to preoccupied. "Morning, Detective. This is Lancer Bott."
Matt disregarded the name. "Hi. What's up?"
"Sir?" The new tenant nodded.
"Uh, please, call me Matt."
The tenant nodded.
"Well," Captain Sheaves said suddenly, "Uh, you know the drill, Detective. Take Mr. Bott and show him the ropes. I will be in my office if you need me." With that, Captain Sheaves exited Matt's office.
When he was gone, Matt turned to the new tenant. "So, what's your name?"
"Lancer Bott." Hate and scorn for the name flourished in his tongue.
"No. Not that one. What's your name?"
The tenant hesitated.
"What do you want to be called?"
"Casper." The tenant answered sheepishly. "Not the friendly ghost one. That's just my name. In life and in death."
Matt nodded. "So, you're dead, Casper?"
The man nodded.
"Oh...kay...Uh, nice to meet you. I've never had the privilege of meeting a ghost before."
"You don't believe me?"
Matt wasn't going to lie. "I believe that Casper is part of who you are, yes."
Casper barked a short laugh.
"What? What's so funny?" Matt asked, feeling more uncomfortable with this guy then he had when he met any of the other tenants.
"You ask the same questions and say the same thing that the whacko-house shrink said. You have the same reaction as every half-decent person I've known who was aware of my...insecurities."
"Well, to be perfectly honest with you, I haven't the faintest idea what to say to you."
"What do you mean? You've never met a skitzo before?"
"No. Nor a ghost."
The new tenant stared at him with an odd look for a long time before he said, "So, I'm under the impression that there will be others?"
"Yes."
"What'd they do?"
"Does it matter?"
The tenant, taken slightly aback, shook his head. "No." He said finally. "I guess it doesn't."
"Uh, guys, this is Casper.-Not the friendly ghost..."
"Vat? I hate vat sniveling vite glob of vapor!"
Matt took a double take. "What? Who are you?"
"Vi am va great Count Dracula!"
"Oh."
"Now, vere is my cape?"
"Maybe it's in your bag." Matt shrugged.
"And, vho are vou?" He spat condescendingly.
"My name is Matt. That's It and that's Tweed."
"Hi." It said, ignoring Matt entirely.
"Sup?" Tweed answered.
"Hello." Diedim said.
"Bye!" Trusty answered.
The new tenant looked to Matt.
"Trusty." Matt answered. "He means hello." He pointed as he said, "Diedim."
"Oh, vell, vhy does he not say that?"
"Same reason you can't keep your personality straight." Matt spat, annoyed at his arrogance.
"Vi beg your pardon?"
"A minute ago, you were a ghost!-" Then, catching himself, Matt's voice softened. "Which is fine, so long as you don't condemn the other's."
Matt caught It's eye. He was glaring at him.
"Hey, uh, Trusty, take the Count up to his room. He's gonna bunk with you. Alright?"
"No." Trusty went for the stairs.
"Good."
As the two headed down the stairs, Matt looked to It. "Hey."
It glowered at him.
Tweed took the hint and left the room, but Diedim stayed, anticipating an argument. He found pleasure in that sort of thing.
"It, look, I'm sorry. That was irresponsible of me and wrong! I don't know how it happened! I..."
"Matt, do you realize how awkward English class was today?"
"Well, I would have found it more distracting then..."
"Matt!"
Matt stopped trying to laugh the situation off and looked with seriousness at It. "It, are you that pissed that I'm dating your teacher?"
"Dating?" It spat.
"Yes. I plan to take her out again."
"Take her to bed too?"
"It!" Matt hissed, more embarrassed then outraged. "I told you, I'm really sorry about that! I don't know how it happened, but it did, and I'm even more sorry that you had to walk in on us like that.-Although, I encourage you to knock from now on, it was wrong. I really am sorry."
"But, you're gonna do it again?"
"I'm going out with her again but...what's the big deal, anyway? We're both of age adults and we did nothing wrong! You have no problem with Tweed or Puck dating. Why me?"
"You aren't Tweed or Puck."
"So?"
"So, it's different when you date. It's weird. You're the first person that doesn't think of me as a science experiment."
"So, just because I go out on a date does not make me think any less of you..."
"I know..." It shrugged as though unsure of his argument.
"I'm still going to take care of you, It."
"But...If you have your own kids..."
"They would be your younger siblings. That's all. I 'm not going to abandon you, It. I promise." Matt was well aware that It did not respond well to change.
"Doctor said that to me once...and I believed him."
Matt closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. This being one of the few times It ever opened up to anyone about his experience with "Doctor", It's creator, Matt knew he needed to approach the conversation delicately. Matt waited for It to continue, but he didn't. "It...Doctor was a very bad man. He needed to die."
It answered quickly. "Oh, I know. I hate him. Can't stand the bastard." It barked a laugh, harrowed by immense pain. "Old psychotic kook! He wanted me to grow up just like him, and I would have...if the law hadn't stepped in..." It gave Matt a weak smile.
As Matt stared at It, he could see the marks left on him by the evil man. Doctor was very abusive to It. Most of the physical scars, however, had faded with age and growth, but one, on the corner of his eye, left from a hot knife, which Matt thought was glaringly obvious, especially now, stretched from his right eye to just before his hairline. Doctor never showed It any love. He was an experiment. He had convinced It that the world would never accept him. He was called Freak by Doctor, hence his loathing toward the name.
Aside from that, though, Matt had not the slightest idea of what had happened to It during his first ten years of life.
However, for such a dismal past, It seemed to love life.
Matt sighed. "Well, It, I can promise you I'm not going to leave you. I will always be with you and I will never intentionally hurt you."
After a moment passed, It genuinely smiled. "Thank you, Matt."
Matt returned the smile. "You're welcome."
"Do you really like her?" It asked after a moment.
"Who? Morey?"
It nodded.
"Yea. I don't remember a lot, but from what I remember, yea."
It nodded. "Okay."
"You alright with it?"
"I'll get used to it."
"Good. Thanks."
"I can't stand this dude! I'd rather have Puck! You gotta get him outta our house!" When Tweed burst into Matt's office on Monday morning, Matt was not all that surprised.
No one seemed to take to the new tenant, who, over the weekend, had named himself, all five of himselves, Skitso. His arrival had not really gone all that well and his lack of identity seemed to freak the rest of the guys out. Even Diedim, the most accepting of all of them, seemed a little uncomfortable around him.
"Tweed, sit down."
"No! I'd rather pace!"
"Sit down, Tweed! And lower your voice."
After a moment, in one quick motion, Tweed pulled the chair across the desk from Matt out and fell into it. "You gotta do summum. This his horrible!"
"What's wrong?"
"He's an ass! He acts like he's better then us and, I mean, so does Diedim, but Diedim is tolerable. This guy is whacked!"
To Tweed, Diedim was more then 'tolerable', he was a legend. Tweed held an ample amount of respect, as did the rest of the Underworld, for Diedim because he had made his way up the ranks from amateur to assassin, the highest ranking and highest paying job a criminal could have. Diedim had accomplished what few could in a lifetime, even when trained. Druglords rarely made in a year what an assassin made in a few hits. There were only a few of these men in the world, however, simply one is as dangerous as a thousand hitmen.
"Why do you say he's whacked?"
"He bit me!" Tweed exclaimed.
Matt sat back. "He bit you?" Matt asked slowly.
"Yes! Look." Tweed pulled down the collar of his shirt to show Matt the teeth marks on the side of his neck.
"Damn."
"Damns right! he drew blood!"
"Well, part of him thinks he's a vampire." After the words came out of his mouth, he realized how stupid it sounded.
"No shit? That's why I have a hickey the size of Texas spread across my throat!"
Matt tilted his head, "Looks more like Maine to me, but..."
"Matt!"
"Okay, I know! I get it, but...I can't just kick him out!"
"Why not?"
"How good would that look for The Reform?"
"If we don't get rid of him, he'll screw The Reform up anyway, it just might take longer."
"Tweed, you said the same thing when Puck came-and Gunner before that! It'll all work out. I promise."
"But, it's gettin' harder to deal with these nuts! Why? Am I getting saner?"
"Well, if you are, then kudos to you! I think you are, personally."
"Me too, but..." Tweed gave Matt a sideways glance. "If that's the case, then how the hell haven't we all put you in your own reform? All us loons running around what used to be your home...Would drive me up the wall." Tweed laced his hands behind his head.
"Maybe I'm as crazy as you all are. Maybe I'm the craziest out of the lot of you."
"You? No. You're sane. When you start lookin' at a gun or a ten year old guy with googly eyes, then I'd worry."
Matt smiled. "Thanks..."
After a moment, Tweed said, "So, we can't get rid of Skitso?"
Matt shook his head. "Sorry. No. We can't get rid of Skitso. Give it time. Get used to him."
"Hims! Plural!"
"Yea. Hims...Trust me, I hear you and with this one, I agree with you. Really, I do, but..."
"But you can't do anything about it. Right?" Tweed spat bitterly.
Reluctantly, Matt nodded.
"Damn."
"Yea. Tell me about it."
"Oh, trust me, I will."
"I'm sure you will, Tweed. Sure you will."
Short story by Brielle Guesstell
Read 887 times
Written on 2008-01-16 at 01:58
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The Reform 1, 2, & 3
Introduction:"What the puck?" Puck exclaimed.
"Is he high?" It asked.
"Unfortunately, no." Diedim answered, watching with amusement. "I believe he actually thinks he is preforming."
"He's not high." Matt assured. "I checked his room this morning." Matt crossed his arms in front of his chest.
The three stood at the doorway of the kitchen watching Tweed dirty dance around the kitchen, using the mop that he was supposed to be cleaning the floor with as a partner. His headphones were so loud, the music was almost clearly audible to Diedim, Matt, Puck, and It, who stood across the room from him. Tweed flipped the mop up, spewing droplets of solution and cleaning chemical across the floor, and ran his fingers through the threads of the mop as though is was a woman's hair.
"He's gone crazy! Do ya want me to shoot him?" Gunner asked with hopefulness as he appeared on the stairwell and catching Tweed with the scope of his —16.
"No!" Matt, Diedim, It, and Puck shouted.
"No!" Puck added, "I think he's kind of cute."
It smacked him. "You sick Bastard!"
Puck glared at It and shot back, "Thank you, basshole, Freak!" and then he attacked It.
Matt pulled them apart while Gunner repositioned his sniper scope. "Matt, outta da way! I'll get 'em both with one bullet!"
Between the two, Matt glared up at Gunner. "Put it away before it finds another home between your ass cheeks!"
Diedim laughed at the four of them.
"Diedim! Help me! Don't just stand there!" Matt hissed, trying desperately to keep the clone and the accused molester from seriously hurting one another.
"Oh, no, Matthew. It is far more amusing to watch you struggle."
Matt glowered back at Diedim. "You know, you back on Death Row is soundin' ha! ha! funny to me right now!" He shouted back to the convicted assassin between struggling to keep It and Puck apart.
Diedim thought on this for a moment before grabbing It and pulling him back.
It then started to fight Diedim and Matt continued to wrestle with Puck, who was cursing both Matt and It with his obscure form of swearing.
Gunner returns with a .9mm handgun and points it around threateningly.
Matt glared at Gunner. "Put the damn gun away!"
"I'm just trying to he-"
"...my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, Hun!"
Everyone stopped and stared in Tweed's direction.
"What the puck?"
"Yea, that was pretty freakin' scary." Matt agreed, then released Puck, moved up behind Tweed, grabbed his shoulders, shook him violently, and screamed, "Tweed!" above the noise of the headphones.
Tweed jumped and, acting on instinct, threw a potentially lethal blow in Matt's direction.
Matt averted the blow and was in position to defend himself only long enough for the reformed druggie and hitman to recognize him.
Tweed ripped the headphones away from his ears and shouted to match the volume of the music he was just listening to. "Don't do that! You're gonna get your ass whooped one of these days by doin that!"
Matt sneered. "That right?"
Tweed nodded affirmatively. "Yes! You can't block everything! There's some blows ya just don't see coming!"
Chapter 1
"Another one? Dude you're killing me!" Matt exclaimed, banging his fist down on the desk. "I can't do this to the guys! No! Not now! They just got settled."
"The guys?" Captain Sheaves spat as though the term was a sacrilege of the most perverted kind. "You do realize, Detective, that these people are part of your job and not some Friday night beer buddies?"
Matt stood up to match his Captain's height. "Sir, I have three guns for hire, a molester, a pathological liar, and a clone of a dead mad scientist living in my house! I am all to aware that this is my job!"
"Don't take that tone of voice with me!" Captain Sheaves shot back, vexed.
"I can take any tone I damn-well please, because like it or not, I am the only one in this department who can run this little experiment you have going here! It's working! Why add more variables? They just got comfortable with Puck and he just got settled. Throw in another wacko and everything will be thrown off balance!"
"It has been eight months! Can't you train them in that period of time? They should be used to..."
"Train them?" Matt spat. "Since when was my house a pound? You cannot train them to be good! You have to set rules and they need time to adjust. These are very mistrusting people! They hold grudges for a very long time and the people they fear-man, I don't know what you did, but Puck shits bricks every time your name is even mentioned- but..."
"And they should all do the same when they hear yours!" Captain Sheaves exclaimed.
"My home is a reform, not a prison."
Captain Sheaves sighed deeply and tightened his lips together tightly, trying to regain his authority. "You will get your new 'variable' in forty-eight hours. You cannot refuse."
"I can. I won't put these guys through the hassle of a new tenant again this soon. They aren't ready."
"You must take him, Detective He will be assigned to you early Friday morning."
Matt glowered at his superior, who had stiffened his posture for effect as he made his way around to the back of his desk. Matt knew Captain Sheaves throughly enjoyed the fact that his orders were to be followed, almost blindly at times. Which was why Matt despised a lot of authority over him. Yes, Matt had seniority over people in the department, but he tried not to act like it. He hardly knew who was under him. He treated them all the same.
"So, what am I gettin'?" Matt asked with some amount of disdain. "The Penguin? Lex Luther? Want me to reform an alien that showed up in the Bregmata Triangle? That should be a challenge." He spat sarcastically.
Captain Sheaves smiled at Matt's ultimate subordination. "He's a schizophrenic patent who's different personalities include Dracula, Frankenstein, a ghost, a werewolf, and Abbot and Costello." Captain Sheaves' smile grew.
"Bud Abbot?-Was the last one a joke?"
Captain Sheaves shook his head. "No. He does a great 'Who's on First' bit."
"Oh, good! Comic relief!" Matt spat condescendingly. "Tweed and Gunner are going to have a run for their money."
"Tweed? Gunner?" Matt's superior chalked an eyebrow.
"They have nicknames. It's easier for me. It brings them out of their comfort zone a little, and plus, they like it 'cause they get to pick it. Whatever word best describes them."
"Tweed?"
"The hit man.-Don't know where he got it, but fits him perfectly."
"Oh, and...Gunner?"
"Sniper."
"What was it? Puck?"
"Yea. A molester. Diedim is the assassin, It is the clone, and Trusty is..."
"Let me guess, the lair?"
Matt shrugged. "I told you they got to pick their own."
"O-k...Anyway, your Schizophrenic buddy will be here first thing Friday morning. Tell 'the guys'."
Reluctantly, and trying his best to ignore the snide, condescending nature of Captain Sheaves' voice, Matt nodded. "Fine, but no more for a while."
That night, after dinner, Matt seated all of his tenants at the dinner table after the meal and claimed that they needed to have a discussion. This was frequent enough. Matt tried to keep an open communication between the guys. Anyone could call a meeting any night and voice whatever they need to. In the past, arguments, threats, resolves, and complements was exchanged at these meetings. Matt tried not to step between gripes the tenants had amongst themselves and he welcomed any argument or bitch they had against him. Likewise, Matt would tell them if he had a problem with any of them and when he did, he expected to settle it.
As soon as they were all seated, Gunner's hand shot up.
"Uh...yes...Gunner?" Matt said, surprised by the sudden school-like atmosphere.
"Does this meeting have anything to do with the clog in the upstairs bathroom or the overflowing of said bathroom?"
Matt's eyes narrowed and he tilted his head. "Not yet. Why?"
"Uh...Oh! Good! Uh, no reason. No reason at all."
"Gunner..." Matt droned condescendingly.
"It wanted to know!" He answered quickly.
"No I didn't!" It spat defensively.
Matt shook his head. "As long as it's cleaned up and fixed, I don't want to know. Trusty," Matt focused his attention on the old man after catching him out of the corner of his eye. "Did you take you take your meds?" Trusty had a beard that was as long, curly, and white as the hair on his head, which tumbled down to about shoulder-length. He was eighty and almost toothless, but sharp as a tack and otherwise healthy as a horse, now sat with the front end of his chair kicked up and rocking it with his heels.
"Nope." Trusty answered, smiling.
"Good, glad you remembered." Matt answered, smiling slightly. He then set his focus broadly, catching all of the tenants in his sight, preparing to deliver the news he was sure they would hate hearing. "Uh, guys, I know you just got comfortable with Puck and I hate to do this to you, but the department is insisting that we bring another person into this house. We have enough room, so we really don't have much of an argument."
"But we don't want him." Tweed replied gruffly and bluntly, crossing his arms and chewing vigorously on a piece of sperimint gum, squashed between his molars.
"Well, we really don't have a choice." Matt answered levelly. "And I'm sorry for that."
"It is not your fault, Matthew. Your superiors are ignorant to the situation and are unaware of your-all of our struggles."
Matt looked to the assassin. "Thank you, Diedim."
"I could shoot him!" Gunner offered in his usual hopeful voice.
"No!" Matt retorted quickly.
"Damn." Gunner muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Do you have a picture?" Puck asked, exceeding Gunner's initial enthusiasm.
Matt ignored the question and tried very hard not to hear his tone. "So, our new tenant is schizophrenic, when he arrives, on Friday morning, he will either think he is Dracula, a werewolf, Casper, or Bud Abbot and Lee Costello. Any questions?"
All of them, with the exception of Diedim, shot questions at once, each shouting over everyone else.
Matt slammed a closed fist on the table making the wood quiver. "Shut up!"
The room fell into silence.
"Okay." Matt sighed. "So, you all can have a chance to speak. Tweed? You have something?"
"What's a skitofendera."
"Multiple personalities."
"Oh, so do we have to get used to more then one person?" It asked with obvious disgust.
"That's confusing!" This from Gunner.
"I know. But be good." Matt replied. "It won't be that bad."
"Yea, Guys. Vampires are interesting!" Puck added, his enthusiasm to meet the new tenant was glowing, and uninspiring to the others. "Puck, I might get used to someone with split personalities pretty quick. They might be fun."
"We don't want to scare him!" Matt snapped.
"I'll go slow."
"Weirdo!" It hissed.
"Freak!" Puck shot back.
"I may be a test-tube baby, but at least I'm sure of my gender!" It retorted.
"Ohhhhh!" Said Gunner.
"Burn!" Added Tweed.
"Puck you all!" Puck hissed.
"I bet you will." It spat.
Puck reared back as though It had socked him in the jaw. "What the puck?"
"Well, you can't decide and you think Tweed is cute!" It turned to Tweed, who was angered at being brought into the spat. "Has he tried any of his moves on you yet?"
Tweed did not hear It. He had his eyes fixed in Puck, glaring at him with revulsion. "You think I'm cute?"
Puck averted his eyes from Tweed's glower and ran his fingers across the curve of the tabletop. "Uh...well...not at the moment..." Puck answered.
"You're a damn liar!" Tweed accused.
Puck lowered his head and his teeth started to chatter, a nervous habit dating back to from, what Matt guessed, childhood.
Tweed was utterly revolted. "You do! Don't you! Right now! You think I'm cute!" Tweed shook his head and got to his feet. "Excuse me. I have a date." Tweed glared at Puck and spoke harshly. "With a girl!" Tweed turned to Matt, who was observing the scene patently. "I'm gonna go meet Angelica at the bar."
Matt nodded. "You know the rules. Two drinks, no drugs, and be back here before you go to work."
"Okay." Tweed nodded shortly and waved a general goodbye, purposely avoiding Puck.
As soon as Tweed left the room, Puck sobbed. "What the puck? I ain't never done a puckin' thing to 'em! I never touched 'em!"
"Yea, but it's still weird!" It replied flippantly.
"But...why?" Puck asked, sniffing up a running nose and swiping away tears.
"Because...he does not have the same preference-or there lack of-that you do...You are attracted to anyone of any age. That is a tad disturbing to Tweed.-Especially because you have your eye on him." Diedim said, seriously connecting his eyes with Puck's.
"But...I just think he's cute...I don't really like him...I like people a little younger, but..." Puck's voice willingly trailed off there.
It turned to Matt. "Uh, yea...why do I have to be on that ice-cream truck alone with him again?"
"Because no one else can." Matt answered briskly.
"Oh, well, he enjoys that truck just a little to much I think."
"I'm still recovering." Puck shouted at It. "I can look."
Matt stiffly shook his head. "No. No, you can't."
Puck shot his eyes over to Matt. "Why?" He demanded in a bitter, almost hurt tone.
Matt blinked slowly and then held a soft, but firm stare to Puck's eyes.
"I can't help it!" Puck suddenly exploded, then cowered, realizing who he had just raised his voice against. "Sorry." He muttered, his teeth starting to chatter again as he nervously ran his tongue across his bottom lip.
"No. Don't be sorry. You can't be sorry if...you can't help it at all?"
Puck shook his head vigorously.
"Well, what do you suppose you could do to help it?-'Cause one way or another, you've got to help it."
Puck shrugged. "I don't know."
"You need a relationship..." Matt said, only half directing the comment to Puck.
"With who?"
"I don't know! Someone your own age!"
"Sixteen work?"
"Absolutely not."
"Seventeen?"
"At least twenty. That's as old as Tweed."
"He's that old?"
"Yes."
"Oh...If Tweed is that old...I guess I could do that."
"Good boy. One willing person at a time, though, okay?"
"Okay."
"And talk to Tweed."
"Tweed won't talk to me."
"Well, either he'll get over it or die pissed off, but you have to talk to him-or try. Okay."
"I'll try, but if I die as a result... You're out of the will."
"You don't have a will. You're twenty-nine years old."
"Yea, well, just know if I had one, and it had to be pulled as a result of talking to Tweed, you wouldn't get the last dump I took in the toilet this morning."
"Yes I would, if I really wanted it. We have a sub-tank." Matt smiled.
"You get the puckin point!"
Matt nodded. "I do, so, you're free to go. Just check in before work tomorrow." Upon concluding the conversation, Matt turned to It. "You got plans?"
It smiled. "Oh, yea! I meant to ask you about that!"
"What?"
"Uh...can I get a ride to the movies?"
"Why and with whom?"
"To watch a movie with...someone."
"Who?" Matt interrogated.
"Vicky..." It squirmed, awaiting the verdict, which was set in stone long before it was ever spoken.
"Quicky-Vicky? Hell no."
"Please? Please! Don't you remember being young?"
"Yes, but you have a much higher IQ and can think of a lot more to do then I ever could at your age...or now for that matter!"
It glared at Matt. "This is because I'm a test tube baby, isn't it?"
Appalled, Matt reared back. "What?-No! It's because you're fifteen and asking to go on a date with the school slut!"
"And?"
"And no!"
"Oh, puck! Puck! Oh puck!"
'Whack!'
Tweed shut his eyes and breathed deeply. He had three choices. One, he could continue to eat his dinner and let whoever it was have at Puck, he could join in, by all means, he deserved at least one free whack, or he could...
Tweed heard Puck smash against a table and the sound of glass shattering followed promptly.
"Damn him to hell!" Tweed muttered as he got to his feet.
"What's wrong?" Asked Angelica, a comely Latino woman who loved sex just about as much as Tweed did.
"I'll be right back." Tweed turned and ran the other side of the bar.
Grabbing the guy bu the back of his shirt collar, Tweed yanked him off of Puck and threw a punch to the man's gut.
Pushing the gasping guy aside, he glared at Puck. "Did you try to hit on him?"
Puck shook his head vigorously. "No." He pointed behind Tweed. "I hit on her."
Tweed turned just in time to see a woman coming at him. Tweed did not see any more of her but her gender before she attacked him, digging her nails into the side of Tweed's face.
Tweed soon realized that the girl had very long, sharp nails.
No sooner did the nails dig into Tweed's skin was the girl, whom the nail's belonged to, ripped off of him with a scream.
Angelica was now in the ring with Puck's psycho crush and was doing very well, screaming at her in Spanish and throwing very passionate blows at her.
Tweed stopped and smiled, enjoying the sight of Angela fighting for him. However, within his disarming moment, he was yanked back and was forced to take a blow to the nose.
Tweed cursed Puck as he continued to fight Puck's crush's boyfriend through watering eyes.
Puck got up and tried to help Tweed, but just because he can hold his own against It did not by any means imply he could hold his own.
"Detective Rodriguez." Matt answered the phone irritated by the thought of work.
"Get your ass down to Billy's Pub!"
"What'd he do?" Matt groaned, knowing that the bar was Tweed's favorite hang-outs. "A fight." Captain Sheaves spat. "Two a your boys started it, or that's what I'm being told."
"I'll be right there." Matt snapped his phone shut before muttering, "Shit!"
"What the hell were you thinking?" Matt yelled, stomping toward the two tenants, glaring at them both and feeling absolutely no pity for Puck's bleeding mouth or Tweed's clawed cheek, bleeding nose, and gouged eye. "Pull something like this in public!" Matt scoffed. "What were you thinking?"
"Uh, Matt?" Tweed tried cautiously.
"Don't interrupt me! If you were gonna fight, you should have done it at home! Were you drunk?"
"Uh, Matt?"
"I told you not to interrupt me! Tweed! How could you do something like this?"
Tweed shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.
Both Tweed and Puck exchanged glances, shrugged, and then looked to the ground.
Blinded by anger, their aloof comfort with one another alluded Matt's notice. "Would you two look at me? What were you thinking?" Matt lowered his voice so only the three of them could hear him. "You know people don't look at you rightfully! You know damn-well they think you're a criminal! When you act like this you are proving to them that they are right! They're not right! You're not criminals anymore! You are men, right?"
"Men help their friends not get the bit beat out of them." Puck said quietly. "We didn't start anything. We weren't fighting each other."
"What?" Matt spat, now attentive.
Puck backed away, afraid of Matt's tone.
So, Tweed took over, matching Matt's gruff tone. "The little fag is telling the truth! I didn't start anything and neither did he.-Throw any punches anyway. Puck tried to pick up a taken chick and her boyfriend was none-to happy. The dude started a fight and I jumped in-well, because you and I both know Puck can't fight worth a damn!" Tweed angrily crossed his arms.
"So...you didn't..." Matt was very confused. He was just told by his superior, a woman with very long nails, and a man with a broken nose and quite possibly rib that the two had initiates the fight.
Puck and Tweed both gave him honest and sincere looks while Puck shook his head and Tweed hissed coldly, "No. We didn't." Tweed nodded his head off in the direction of the couple. "They did. I didn't even know he was here until right before he got hit. The weird cursing thing, ya know. The only reason I jumped in was 'cause I know you'd give me hell if I let him die."
"Thanks." Both Matt and Puck said in chorus, however, Matt's voice was a lot more sarcastic then Puck's.
Matt turned. "Excuse me a second, Guys." Matt stomped over to Captain Sheaves. "Sheaves, what the hell? You told me something that wasn't true!"
Captain Sheaves looked back toward Matt. "I beg your pardon?"
"You told me that my guys initiated the fight. They didn't. Your witness over there is trying to cover his ass."
"What? How do you know that?" Captain Sheaves demanded, using his athouaitive voice.
"Because I talked to my guys. I got the whole sad little story. Apparently macho over there attacked Puck when he tried to hit on his girlfriend. All it was, was a simple fit of jealousy. Tweed heard Puck yell and jumped in to help him because he knew I would kill him myself if he didn't do anything."
The Captain almost laughed. "And you believe them?"
"More then I believe the bull you, Macho and Medusa fed me a minute ago. Have you seen the nails on that girl?"
"But they are criminals..."
"No. Were criminals."
Captain Sheaves sighed. "Fine, but they can still lie to you."
"No. They can't. Not these two. Diedim, and well, Trusty always lies, but Puck starts to twitch, it eats at Tweed's conscience, and Gunner and It just aren't very good at it to begin with."
Captain Sheaves started at Matt for a long moment. "Matt, those criminals are screwing with your head. They can all lie. How do you think they got to be criminals?"
"I could be a criminal and I'm a lousy lair! I know they were telling me the truth! What I want to know is why, just because of their past, you automatically blame them?"
"Well, the witnesses..."
"Are not going to own up to starting a bar-room brawl when there are two scapegoats that couldn't have looked anymore guilty." Matt shook his head. "See you tomorrow." Turning roughly, he spat, "Tweed, Puck, get in my car!"
"But...we need to bring them..."
"No!" Matt followed the two tenants to the car.
The ride back to the house was silent until the very end.
"Uh, Tweed?" Puck initiated the conversation cautiously.
"What?" Tweed asked.
"Are you still mad at me?"
"Yup."
Not getting the answer he wanted, his next comment came after a hesitation, "But...since you helped me..."
Tweed glared at Puck. "What makes you so sure I didn't stop that guy from killing you just so I wouldn't loose the chance?"
Puck backed up against the window. "But! Bammit! I can't help it! I don't want you to be mad at me!"
Tweed started to laugh.
Both Puck and Matt were lost to Tweed's sense of humor.
"What the puck?"
"It's okay. I'm not really mad anymore. I'm just screwin-I mean messin-I mean-you know what I mean! You're just fun to piss off and scare. Just, don't be so vocal about it. Really, I understand how you can't resist this," Tweed conceitedly flexed his muscles, but I do have a reputation with the ladies to uphold."
Puck nodded. "I understand."
"Why don't I help you get a date? Help you take your focus off me."
"Okay. As long as it doesn't get me punched again."
"Well, that was because you were screwin with another guy's property. Your best bet is to go with someone single, but, if you must try to snag someone taken, make sure the significant other isn't in the same room. That was really stupid on your part."
"Yes, Tweed. I know."
Chapter 2
"Hi. My name is Angelica. Is Tweed there?"
Between opening the door and turning to get the finally comprehended person, he was contemplating how the hell someone that hot could be standing on his porch. As he realized who she was looking for, he understood.
"Tweed?" Matt screamed, before realizing he was right behind him, "Uh, your uh...someone is here to see you."
"Thanks." Tweed answered simply, more concerned with Angelica then the presence of Matt. "Hey, Babe." Tweed growled with suggestion as he passed Matt, embraced Angelica, and engulfed her in a deep, passionate, intense kiss with one suave motion.
Neither Tweed nor Angelica seemed to care or even notice that Matt was still standing in the door, watching them.
Matt felt his cheeks get hot and redden, like he was caught in the middle of a mischievous act. Matt ducked behind the door in an embarrassed fashion and closed it, leaving the couple alone and hoping no one that could cause Matt grief for the show saw them. If Captain Sheaves saw the couple, it would be Matt that would be screwed.
"Okay, tonight, I am taking the night off." Matt exclaimed at the dinner table. "The schizophrenic is coming tomorrow, so I've got a lot of work ahead of me in the morning. Before that, though, I need to clear my head, so if any of you even think of getting into trouble, I swear, I will kick your ass from here to Kingdom Come."
Gunner, who ironically had a very strong Christian upbringing, raised his hand.
"What, Gunner?"
"You may not be able to do that."
"Why not? Wanna test me?" Matt spat pugnaciously.
Gunner held up his hands disarmingly. "No. No. It's just that none of us would be able to get within one-hundred yards of Kingdom Come."
Matt narrowed his eyes. "You would if I was kickin' ya!" Matt sneered and Gunner stopped being smart, fearing the threat might be valid.
Matt smiled at the rest of them and said cheerfully, "Okay? Well, you're free to go."
"Hey, Cop! You look like you had a rough day. Would you like me to buy you a drink?" Percilla, the bar tender asked, eyeing Matt as he walked in.
Percilla was a heavy-set woman, with curly auburn hair that was tied up in a bun and she had light, cheery green eyes. She had a big, but pretty face. If she wore her hair a little less severely and something more then spandex pants and t-shirts that would make Matt look like a kid in his father's clothes, she could be a relatively attractive woman, but as she looked now, he found the stool that he now strattled between his legs more attractive, but she was still nice.
"Uh, yea. Thanks."
"The regular?"
"Yea, but extra rum."
"That bad?"
Matt did not have to answer. His eyes did all the talking necessary.
As Percilla walked away, Matt fell into his own head.
Upon returning with Matt's rum and coke, extra rum, Percilla asked, "So, what's wrong? Your experiments goin' alright?"
"Yea. I mean...I think it's going alright."
"You think?"
"Yea, I don't know. I'm getting another guy tomorrow. A schizophrenic."
"Oh, fun!"
"Yea."
Matt's sardonic tone didn't bother Percilla, but she couldn't let it slip either. "You sound thrilled."
"Well, it's not really me. It's the guys that I'm worried about. I can handle it, but..."
"So, you're afraid of adding another variable?"
"I'm not afraid. I just don't think it's fair."
"Then, just say no."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"It's my boss! I can't just say, 'I refuse to do it.'"
"Tell him you fear for your life."
"I can't do that, Percilla."
Percilla shot Matt a sideways glance. "Damn men and their pride." She huffed. "You know how I feel about this whole thing."
"Then, why do you ask?"
"Knowing is better then wondering." She spoke honestly. "It's just...I don't want this thing to come back and bite you in the ass."
"If it did, then at least I would feel it." Matt hissed.
"What do you mean by that?" She asked, tilting her head and leaning in toward him, thinking that it was more of a private confession and heart wrenching story then it really was.
Matt shrugged. "It's just that I don't know what everyone wants. I just don't know if people want this thing to fail, or succeed, or...or what..." Matt shrugged again.
Something in Matt's voice must have communicated that he was through talking to her about it, because Percilla shrugged and said, "I don't know, Matt. I hope you succeed, for you, but...I also want it to end before it hurts you. You're a good cop and an even better person. To women and to friends, even to your guys, that's a great thing, but to others..." She sighed and turned to tend to waiting customers.
Therefore, Matt continued to sip his rum and coke, unaware of the beautiful woman watching him until she came over to him, sat on the stool next to him, and ran a long, delicate hand across his back. "Hey, Cop, what would you do if I told you I've been a bad girl? Would you arrest me?"
As Matt's eyes wavered over to her, Matt almost dropped his drink. "Uh... prolly..." His speech impairment had nothing to do with the adult beverage in his hand.
"What's your name?"
"Uh...Matt..."
"Matt...I like that name." Her voice held a sharpness and at the same time a tenderness that, if she were to have said 'I eat my own fecies he would have found it as erotic as hell.
The way she spoke aroused him to the point of discomfort.
Matt shifted on his stool.
"My name is Morey."
"Hi, Morey. Can I buy you a drink?"
"Well, Matt, I wouldn't want to impose...Officer."
Damn, my position in the beuro never sounded so good! Matt thought, shifting on his stool again. "Not at all. What would you like?"
"Whatever you're having."
Matt quickly ordered two rum and cokes.
As Percilla set the drinks down, she shot him a look of warning that stated plainly, Don't take her home.
Matt was unsure of why his friend was acting so odd, but he quickly dismissed it.
Although Matt did not remember the rest of that night all that well, he was pretty sure that he had heeded Percilla's warning, although the reason he did not take her home was simply for the simple reason that she had not initiates it. If she had, he would not have declined, however, since she didn't say anything about it, Matt simply settled for a few more drinks, later a cup of coffee, and a very invigorating kiss to which, might have even given Tweed's actions with Angelica a run for his money.
When Matt returned home, he was very drunk and really thirsty. Matt stumbled to the kitchen, opened a cabinet, the microwave, and the oven before finding the refrigerator door, and grabbed a bottle of something. It may have been water, which was what Matt's intoxicated mind was searching for, or beer, or grape-juice, or the weird solution Trusty drinks every morning, claiming it to be really good for aches and pains, which means he just likes the taste. In any case, he did not taste the drink, but remembers a lot of laughing while he was searching for and drinking whatever it was.
Afterwards, Matt staggered back to his bedroom and passed out on his bed.
"Matt, did you see..." It was cut off by both Matt and Morey sitting up in the bed. It's eyes widened. "Oh...I expect this from Tweed, but not you!-" It moved to close the door as Matt looked, dumbfounded at Morey, but then opened the other door again. Disgusted, he demanded, "You're dating my English teacher?"
"Uh...you know what? I like to think of it as socially seeing-you're English teacher?" Matt exchanged a glance between Morey and It.
Morey waved sheepishly. "Hi, It."
It shook his head and moved to walk out of the room.
"It! Wait! Come here! We didn't do anything!" Matt glanced over at Morey. "Did we?"
Morey shrugged and bit her lip. "I don't know."
"Right."
It sighed and closed the door.
"Crap." Matt stated and then looked back to Morey. "Uh, so you want some coffee?"
"Please."
"Okay. Uh, look, I know this will sound pretty stupid, but I usually never..."
"Me neither! I talk, but I never ever..."
They looked at each other and just started to laugh. What else could they do?
Okay... Matt thought. I guess I did take her home last night. Oops!
Chapter 3:
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created it."-Albert Einstein
When Matt walked into his office an hour later, Captain Sheaves and his new tenant were waiting for him.
Matt was surprised to see them for a moment, for, within all of the excitement, his drinking had caused, he had forgotten entirely his reason for hitting the bottle to begin with.
"Oh, hello!" Matt said when he was able to gaze passed his blaring headache to see and recognize the two men in front of him. "Uh, sorry I'm late. Rough morning."
However, Captain Sheaves was to preoccupied. "Morning, Detective. This is Lancer Bott."
Matt disregarded the name. "Hi. What's up?"
"Sir?" The new tenant nodded.
"Uh, please, call me Matt."
The tenant nodded.
"Well," Captain Sheaves said suddenly, "Uh, you know the drill, Detective. Take Mr. Bott and show him the ropes. I will be in my office if you need me." With that, Captain Sheaves exited Matt's office.
When he was gone, Matt turned to the new tenant. "So, what's your name?"
"Lancer Bott." Hate and scorn for the name flourished in his tongue.
"No. Not that one. What's your name?"
The tenant hesitated.
"What do you want to be called?"
"Casper." The tenant answered sheepishly. "Not the friendly ghost one. That's just my name. In life and in death."
Matt nodded. "So, you're dead, Casper?"
The man nodded.
"Oh...kay...Uh, nice to meet you. I've never had the privilege of meeting a ghost before."
"You don't believe me?"
Matt wasn't going to lie. "I believe that Casper is part of who you are, yes."
Casper barked a short laugh.
"What? What's so funny?" Matt asked, feeling more uncomfortable with this guy then he had when he met any of the other tenants.
"You ask the same questions and say the same thing that the whacko-house shrink said. You have the same reaction as every half-decent person I've known who was aware of my...insecurities."
"Well, to be perfectly honest with you, I haven't the faintest idea what to say to you."
"What do you mean? You've never met a skitzo before?"
"No. Nor a ghost."
The new tenant stared at him with an odd look for a long time before he said, "So, I'm under the impression that there will be others?"
"Yes."
"What'd they do?"
"Does it matter?"
The tenant, taken slightly aback, shook his head. "No." He said finally. "I guess it doesn't."
"Uh, guys, this is Casper.-Not the friendly ghost..."
"Vat? I hate vat sniveling vite glob of vapor!"
Matt took a double take. "What? Who are you?"
"Vi am va great Count Dracula!"
"Oh."
"Now, vere is my cape?"
"Maybe it's in your bag." Matt shrugged.
"And, vho are vou?" He spat condescendingly.
"My name is Matt. That's It and that's Tweed."
"Hi." It said, ignoring Matt entirely.
"Sup?" Tweed answered.
"Hello." Diedim said.
"Bye!" Trusty answered.
The new tenant looked to Matt.
"Trusty." Matt answered. "He means hello." He pointed as he said, "Diedim."
"Oh, vell, vhy does he not say that?"
"Same reason you can't keep your personality straight." Matt spat, annoyed at his arrogance.
"Vi beg your pardon?"
"A minute ago, you were a ghost!-" Then, catching himself, Matt's voice softened. "Which is fine, so long as you don't condemn the other's."
Matt caught It's eye. He was glaring at him.
"Hey, uh, Trusty, take the Count up to his room. He's gonna bunk with you. Alright?"
"No." Trusty went for the stairs.
"Good."
As the two headed down the stairs, Matt looked to It. "Hey."
It glowered at him.
Tweed took the hint and left the room, but Diedim stayed, anticipating an argument. He found pleasure in that sort of thing.
"It, look, I'm sorry. That was irresponsible of me and wrong! I don't know how it happened! I..."
"Matt, do you realize how awkward English class was today?"
"Well, I would have found it more distracting then..."
"Matt!"
Matt stopped trying to laugh the situation off and looked with seriousness at It. "It, are you that pissed that I'm dating your teacher?"
"Dating?" It spat.
"Yes. I plan to take her out again."
"Take her to bed too?"
"It!" Matt hissed, more embarrassed then outraged. "I told you, I'm really sorry about that! I don't know how it happened, but it did, and I'm even more sorry that you had to walk in on us like that.-Although, I encourage you to knock from now on, it was wrong. I really am sorry."
"But, you're gonna do it again?"
"I'm going out with her again but...what's the big deal, anyway? We're both of age adults and we did nothing wrong! You have no problem with Tweed or Puck dating. Why me?"
"You aren't Tweed or Puck."
"So?"
"So, it's different when you date. It's weird. You're the first person that doesn't think of me as a science experiment."
"So, just because I go out on a date does not make me think any less of you..."
"I know..." It shrugged as though unsure of his argument.
"I'm still going to take care of you, It."
"But...If you have your own kids..."
"They would be your younger siblings. That's all. I 'm not going to abandon you, It. I promise." Matt was well aware that It did not respond well to change.
"Doctor said that to me once...and I believed him."
Matt closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. This being one of the few times It ever opened up to anyone about his experience with "Doctor", It's creator, Matt knew he needed to approach the conversation delicately. Matt waited for It to continue, but he didn't. "It...Doctor was a very bad man. He needed to die."
It answered quickly. "Oh, I know. I hate him. Can't stand the bastard." It barked a laugh, harrowed by immense pain. "Old psychotic kook! He wanted me to grow up just like him, and I would have...if the law hadn't stepped in..." It gave Matt a weak smile.
As Matt stared at It, he could see the marks left on him by the evil man. Doctor was very abusive to It. Most of the physical scars, however, had faded with age and growth, but one, on the corner of his eye, left from a hot knife, which Matt thought was glaringly obvious, especially now, stretched from his right eye to just before his hairline. Doctor never showed It any love. He was an experiment. He had convinced It that the world would never accept him. He was called Freak by Doctor, hence his loathing toward the name.
Aside from that, though, Matt had not the slightest idea of what had happened to It during his first ten years of life.
However, for such a dismal past, It seemed to love life.
Matt sighed. "Well, It, I can promise you I'm not going to leave you. I will always be with you and I will never intentionally hurt you."
After a moment passed, It genuinely smiled. "Thank you, Matt."
Matt returned the smile. "You're welcome."
"Do you really like her?" It asked after a moment.
"Who? Morey?"
It nodded.
"Yea. I don't remember a lot, but from what I remember, yea."
It nodded. "Okay."
"You alright with it?"
"I'll get used to it."
"Good. Thanks."
"I can't stand this dude! I'd rather have Puck! You gotta get him outta our house!" When Tweed burst into Matt's office on Monday morning, Matt was not all that surprised.
No one seemed to take to the new tenant, who, over the weekend, had named himself, all five of himselves, Skitso. His arrival had not really gone all that well and his lack of identity seemed to freak the rest of the guys out. Even Diedim, the most accepting of all of them, seemed a little uncomfortable around him.
"Tweed, sit down."
"No! I'd rather pace!"
"Sit down, Tweed! And lower your voice."
After a moment, in one quick motion, Tweed pulled the chair across the desk from Matt out and fell into it. "You gotta do summum. This his horrible!"
"What's wrong?"
"He's an ass! He acts like he's better then us and, I mean, so does Diedim, but Diedim is tolerable. This guy is whacked!"
To Tweed, Diedim was more then 'tolerable', he was a legend. Tweed held an ample amount of respect, as did the rest of the Underworld, for Diedim because he had made his way up the ranks from amateur to assassin, the highest ranking and highest paying job a criminal could have. Diedim had accomplished what few could in a lifetime, even when trained. Druglords rarely made in a year what an assassin made in a few hits. There were only a few of these men in the world, however, simply one is as dangerous as a thousand hitmen.
"Why do you say he's whacked?"
"He bit me!" Tweed exclaimed.
Matt sat back. "He bit you?" Matt asked slowly.
"Yes! Look." Tweed pulled down the collar of his shirt to show Matt the teeth marks on the side of his neck.
"Damn."
"Damns right! he drew blood!"
"Well, part of him thinks he's a vampire." After the words came out of his mouth, he realized how stupid it sounded.
"No shit? That's why I have a hickey the size of Texas spread across my throat!"
Matt tilted his head, "Looks more like Maine to me, but..."
"Matt!"
"Okay, I know! I get it, but...I can't just kick him out!"
"Why not?"
"How good would that look for The Reform?"
"If we don't get rid of him, he'll screw The Reform up anyway, it just might take longer."
"Tweed, you said the same thing when Puck came-and Gunner before that! It'll all work out. I promise."
"But, it's gettin' harder to deal with these nuts! Why? Am I getting saner?"
"Well, if you are, then kudos to you! I think you are, personally."
"Me too, but..." Tweed gave Matt a sideways glance. "If that's the case, then how the hell haven't we all put you in your own reform? All us loons running around what used to be your home...Would drive me up the wall." Tweed laced his hands behind his head.
"Maybe I'm as crazy as you all are. Maybe I'm the craziest out of the lot of you."
"You? No. You're sane. When you start lookin' at a gun or a ten year old guy with googly eyes, then I'd worry."
Matt smiled. "Thanks..."
After a moment, Tweed said, "So, we can't get rid of Skitso?"
Matt shook his head. "Sorry. No. We can't get rid of Skitso. Give it time. Get used to him."
"Hims! Plural!"
"Yea. Hims...Trust me, I hear you and with this one, I agree with you. Really, I do, but..."
"But you can't do anything about it. Right?" Tweed spat bitterly.
Reluctantly, Matt nodded.
"Damn."
"Yea. Tell me about it."
"Oh, trust me, I will."
"I'm sure you will, Tweed. Sure you will."
Short story by Brielle Guesstell
Read 887 times
Written on 2008-01-16 at 01:58
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