normalil
Thanks for your time and trouble Scharlie, I have taken them "on board."
2008-05-13

Scharlie Meeuws
Thank you for your kind message. You asked me to read your poem and I did. If you want my opinion: cut unnecessary words (I did) and I find the flow easier.
If it was me I would leave the last stanza out. Your poem has to "show" not tell. I think the last stanza just spoils it.
I hope you don't mind be being honest. It is just my personal opinion.
I really like your poem and it is very well written.

So nice to hear about your life. I also have an old mother. She is 87 and very difficult, never to please. But old age is no fun, I think, and I forgive herher bad moods.
below your poem with some words taken off. See what you think:



Whale Song.
We travel the globe around each year,
living our lives so well.
We follow the krill and the plankton,
which thrive in the ocean's swell.

Far out at sea you may find us,
as blue depths we peacefully roam.
Mysterious caverns and wondrous waves,
are the places we claim as home.

Our families stick together,
in love or sorrow and pain.
We've lived in the sea for millions of years,
"Live and let live" our refrain.

My calf was killed by a whaler,
he was almost full grown at the time.
Mankind leaves me sad and confused,
how can they commit such a crime?

Yes my calf was killed by a whaler,
harpoon buried deep in his brain.
I stayed by the ship for a day and a night,
watching his anguish and pain.

The sea turned from blue to scarlet,
as he struggled and thrashed to be free.
Thirty six hours it took him to die,
every pain of his felt too, by me.

Once dead, they hauled his body aboard,
my cries went unheard on the wind.
I dove to the depths with a broken heart,
mankind, how badly you've sinned.

When our Great Creator returns to the Earth,
and He will, in our hearts we know well...
from His throne He will weep for His Creatures,
and banish mankind to Hell.
2008-04-21

penfold18
This is excellent even though I to find whale killing to be abhorrent it conveys the story so clearly its a pity there are'nt more to fight their cause well done indeed.
2008-04-21

Kathy Lockhart
we all should be thankful for and respect all of God's creation. We should honor His creatures all great and small and be good caretakers of what He has given us.
Beautifully and profoundly written. : )
2008-04-20

ken d williams
Wonderful , well writan and expresst , Norma. Reminded of of a Minke whale , that became stranded down the coast from me. I have writan a poem aboiut that eavning , one sumer a few years ago , now.

Ken ( D Williams )
2008-04-20

Stan Cooper
NormaLil...this is a gem....I have given it it's most deserved
applaud...

xxx Stan
2008-04-20