Murder


I dream of silence, at the bottom of this body of water. Except from the wind in the leaves of this hollow tree I'm leaning against, there is not a sound. The breath of the sky makes wrinkles on the water, and my reflection is obscured.

I look up at the horizon, nothing but trees. There the darkness awaits me, on the other side of this wetness. Everything shatters, falls apart. There is barely a beat in my heart and nothing else matters. The sun dances upon my face, and I am ashamed, it doesn't know. This life I hold in my hand crumbles and falls into the dark. It takes time to get it right, takes no time to get it wrong. And I wonder when I chose this path I'm moving on.

The wind brings the scent of freedom, the smell of childhood summer days spent in the sun. I smile for the first time today, a crooked smile that shouldn't be. To be honest, it shouldn't be there at all. The little girl inside me builds a sandcastle besides me her brown curls swings with every movement. I can't stand looking at her but don't want her to leave. The words leave my mouth with a chill. I'm a war, of head versus heart, and it's always this way. My head is weak and my heart always speaks before I know what it will say. She's gone now.

I look at my hands, something has changed, and I lean down. I reach for the cleansing cool water. It doesn't come off. I breathe in without my lungs inflating, and my legs fail me. The sand feels damp and rough against my skin, I welcome it. Look up at the sky, its reflection was so grey where it met the edge of the lake, and now the sun hides. Though the night has fallen, I close my eyes and imagine a tiny glimmer flickering on the horizon. I can't believe I didn't see the ground was caving in, and now it's too late. The lines of this lake feel like the Berlin wall, and there is no doubt about which side I am on.

The lake has changed from a calm tranquility into a roaring sea trying to engulf me. In this sandstorm mixed with tears, the trees lift off from their roots. Like a big black hole, the lake swallows it all. I wish I could jump in and end it all, but a life is still a life, and I'm not willing to give mine up just yet.




Short story by Natalie
Read 1220 times
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Written on 2009-03-30 at 10:45

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Editorial Team The PoetBay support member heart!
This text has been chosen to be featured on the front page of PoetBay. Thank you for posting it on our poetry web site.
2011-05-17



This is a wonderful peice, really emotive and insightful. I shall read more of you now, you have a heart you place in your words that gives them life and emotion.

Excellent work.

Language: 5
Format: 5
Mood: 5
Overall: 5
2009-06-07


Eli The PoetBay support member heart!
I loved reading this! Reminded of the child within that is wishing to escape the clutches of conditioning and circumstance. They are there waiting patiently; asking us to come out and play like we once did. And if - as this piece suggests - one is not willing to give up, that child can become reconnected to our core, and our playground imaginations can be restored. I truly beleive that this possible. Thank You for this wonderful piece of writing.

Mood: 5
2009-03-30