This is an autobiographical sort of work. I don't really think of it as a poem, but more like musings marking and  recording personal events.




Defective

I have
Attention Deficit Disorder.
Certified.
A doctor officially labeled
my condition as Adult A.D.D.
I have had it all my life
but it wasn't diagnosed
until after I became an adult,
after I was diagnosed with Major depression,
after my brother died when I was 5 months pregnant.
I always just thought it was my personality,
Wired with impulsivity to do too many things at once.
Then I find out I am a defective disorder.
My doctor put me on a drug called Adderall-
My house became perfect,don't ya know.
The lightbulb came on inside my head.
For the first time in years
I noticed the cobwebs
in the chandeliers.
I liked cleaning out the drawers-
No time to talk or smell the flowers.
My introversion turned insane one day
when I wanted to see
what three days without sleep would do to me.
Curiousity turned into hallucinations
and I began to see demons in inanimate objects
As if I was seeing in another dimension
Yet, I knew I was hallucinating.
After that, I stopped taking adderall.
I decided I liked the defective me afterall.





Poetry by melanie sue
Read 873 times
Written on 2009-06-04 at 01:44

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Kee Zealy The PoetBay support member heart!
join the adult add crowd, only for me it is survival that I take wellbutrin, as I have a minor problem called going asleep at the wheel of a car, not to mention falling asleep at work. I hear you with the life long war against a defect over which you have no control.
2009-06-14



We humans are all different by nature. Wanting to force all individuals into the same mold (and maybe to eliminate those who don't conform!) is the root of every fanatism, racism, totalitarism, fascism. It's cruel and plain stupid.
May you never stop being the beautiful person you are!
2009-06-04


ken d williams The PoetBay support member heart!
A well written poem , so full of thort , I empathise with the poem and the writer.

Ken ( D Williams )
2009-06-04


ken d williams The PoetBay support member heart!
Well written , wonderful expresst , Melanie Sue. Label's can be bad they can be good. I could have dun with being labelled Dyslexic , even a few years a go , then maybe I'd have realised my dream. My dreame of achieving in the world of academia .
Drug's are sadly prescribed , for such problems as yours Melanie. Instead of spending time with you , and learning from you. Well you fixst it your self! Your great poetry and the life you lead and what you have achevde in your life . Is great testimony , living prove too the great wonderful person you are.

All the best , Ken ( D Williams )
2009-06-04


Elle The PoetBay support member heart!
I have and will always be scared of labels - you cannot pigeon hole people, - we all could be diagnosed, treated for a disorder - yet our disorders are we are -= Yes I'd like to be a few inches taller but I'm not about to put myself on the wrack just to gain them - A teacher at my sons school confided in me about how many children were being put on (Ithink its called) ritalin etc - he couldn't see any benefits and the children themselves were encountering other problems as a result of these drugs - I'm totally phobic about any of these so called drugs - I'd rather be me, than living in a nether existence which the side effects give

Elle x
2009-06-04


Stan Cooper The PoetBay support member heart!
Melanie Sue...I'm not a doctor but anyone who can write
so interestingly as you doesn't have "attention deficit disorder"...

Enjoyed your write, particularly since the ending was so
wonderfully positive for you...

Thanks for sharing...and keep writing

xxx Stan
2009-06-04



Sounds to me like you were just suffering normal depression with your circumstances at the time, pregnancy and loss, are things that, if they did not affect our moods, THE DOCTORS would certainly think we were nuts! It makes me laugh how they have to find something wrong to put right with drugs that put other things totally out Melanie.

A good write, poem or no.

Glad you decided to take your medication into your own hands.

Smiling at you

Tai
2009-06-04


NicholasG
I went through very much the same experiences. I was given Celexa. I quit cold turkey and had the weirdest dreams for the next ten nights or so. Since this I cannot read fiction, only "how to" books. The three days without sleep were no fun at all. I walked to a clinic at 8am and -30 F. I was in no condition to drive.
I have always thought that Attention Deficit Disorder is a misnomer. All the people I've known who have this have powers of concentration above normal provided they are given something that interests them.
Nick
2009-06-04


jenks The PoetBay support member heart!
this is very clever...
does poetry help?
where would we be without our quirks?
thanks for this.
2009-06-04