Have you ever wanted something so badly

but its just out of reach?

Thats me, 

Thats how i feel, 

i am the jerbal running on the wheel

chasing after suspended cheese

i hunger for it constantly

but its never for me

always just out of reach

I run myslef ragid, 

consuming my every thought

until i am all but a 

robot on auto pilot

mean with want and ragid

with trying

but never recieving,

try; try harder

thats not hard enough

words meant for 

encouragement; they think they are helping

but thats ironic, 

they know what words can 

do, how they manipulate

forever in the background

forever in my head 

i hear their voices 

in my sleep!

..

How can they do this to me?

the girl that never smiles

impossible to crack

my walls made of iron. 

and yet im tumbling

like london bridge

just for a taste, a small tiny taste; 

just for a lick

a lick i'll never get

a taste i'll never have

a fantasy I'm allowed 

to dream. 

..........

just an example to be studied

to make something of

something better, 

something more enhanced and 

possibly even brighter

but never me, 

that role will never be mine. 

Its only dangled over my head

and i am allowed 

to foolishly chase after it

yet isnt that all of us, 

in this big wide world 

isnt that what all of us do

search for ways to make it big?

to be famous, 

to be rich. our name in lights,

15 minutes of all eyes

on me. 

we all are jerbals on wheels

chasing after our own 

suspended cheeses, 

always there 

but just out of reach

never for me...