see author's note below




Toast

Dog-eared Deceit Deadpan I’s

Possess the Lechers in the Wry
Chasing Children to the Cliffs
Pushing off their Innocence
Down to where the Wounded die
In the Land of the Blind
Where a one-eyed man is king
To the truths of silencing,
The fille de joie of lies,
That corrupted
The catchers in the rye.

 

author's notes:raw draft and still toying with phrase variations

 

hint-(1)symbolism of "bread";(2)decay of society through  exploitation, money and sex

 

*Dog-earred(worn/marked)deceit*Deadpan(emotionless) I's (individuals)

*Lecher(one living a life of debauchery, esp.sexual indulgence)*Wry(twisted)

*fille de joie[fee-yuh duh zhwah](French, prostitute)

*catchers in the rye.(significance of book title by JD Salinger read article at this link or others of your choice: http://www.theundercoverbooklover.com/2011/01/significance-of-title-catcher-in-rye.html

 





Poetry by melanie sue
Read 656 times
Written on 2013-03-17 at 15:58

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chuma okafor
Deep & insightful, may i also add that 'toast' is one of the local parlance in Nigeria, used, to refer wooing a woman for sex, & this poem, for me is a poetic comparison of societal ills with degradable nature of present woman...
2013-05-17


StillHoppin The PoetBay support member heart!
I'd been wanting to comment on this, because the level of your writing is clearly excellent, but felt it might be a bit over my head, so I'm glad you added your notes! I don't know why I didn't follow that I's was I's (as in individuals, lol...) but that threw me off for the rest of the poem. Seeing what you have done more clearly (after reading the article on Catcher in the Rye that you mention :) - I must say that I am impressed, and I hope to read the final draft if you do end up rewriting it. I like the wordplay between Rye/Wry - and again, very nicely done. :)
2013-03-18



A little Dylanesque (Bob), I can hear it—"It's alright ma (I'm only bleeding). I hope you don't mind the comparison.
2013-03-17